Community > Posts By > Sheebee

 
Sheebee's photo
Mon 08/04/08 07:03 PM
Thanks I'll take you advice about the medical check

It is unfortuneatly just a part of their rebellion and sometimes they take it to the extreme...I raised 5 on my own...there father never for 1 day or 1 penny contributed...single parents have the toughest jobs. Don't worry...it will ease up, may not be as quickly as you wish...but the minute their father begins to deny them things they want...they will want to come back...let them know you are okay with them staying with him but you are there if they ever want to return home...it will happen...but it will have to be in their time...but make sure it is on your terms...counseling is a wonderful tool...I wish you the best of luck...and mine may not be the best advice...but rather a thought from my own experience


Good advice from Kim. I raised four kids pretty much as a single father. Their mother was abusive to them and herself out of control. Hold your ground with your discipline and keep them in counseling. What you're experiencing is a long and heartbreaking thing to go through. Always remember that as parents, we do the best with what we know at the time. Hang in there because what you do may not be appreciated now, but when your kids become adults, they'll realize what a wonderful mother they have.

One other thing. Take them in for a complete medical check-up. When my daughter was young, she was near impossible to handle. A complete medical workup showed that she had a thyroid problem which reaps havoc with hormones. Once she was put on medication, her mood swings and impossible behavior disappeared in a few weeks.

flowerforyou

Sheebee's photo
Mon 08/04/08 07:01 PM


I guess I got my answer, I gave up too easily. I was thinking of taking them back at the end of the summer. I'm just confused. So this is typical behavior?? Yes, I did take away the phones and I also bought software to block all of the popular sites the kids go on. About a month ago my 13 year old did not get her own way and ran away; I'm afraid that she will do it again. There are so many creeps out there and I have made both of my girls aware of that, and still she left! I am going to lay the rules down when they come back. I'm glad you had a good ending with your son. How long does this TWEEN stuff last??


Trust me..it isn't going to be easy, parenting is the HARDEST job around. My youngest is 17 and he couldn't be any better now.. great in school, hard worker..

Their dad too was always the "hero"... buying them things that "I" said they couldn't have, things I didn't feel were appropriate (logos on shirts). He'd let my oldest take his car whenever he wanted, when I had said no, he was grounded... When the boy's were with their dad, trouble always was around the corner, we had even gone into court a few times.. my ex tried to get custody of them because they "wanted" to live with him..he never won any of the court battles.. I always had the proof that whenever the boys were with him they got into trouble, whether it was with the law or their grades, etc..even at age 17, a lot of people think that the kids have a right to choose where they want to live, that's not true! The court ordered my children to remain in MY home. They too will see what their father is really like.. mine did, it's funny how things turn around sooner or later. My ex has remarried and for the past 3 years my youngest has NOT gone over to his home for his every other weekend visit, nor has he gone there on his scheduled visitation for the summer months, he stays at home. They complain about their dad all the time.. but I am not one to bad mouth my ex, like he does about me to them.. I listen to what they have to say then suggest they talk to him about whatever is bothering them. As far as your one daughter trying to commit suicide..I'm sorry to hear that.. mine never had gone that far, they did the running away thing, but off to their dads LOL.. Kids think they have it so "rough"... Plan a trip down to your local homeless shelters, battered women's shelters, soup kitchens and even your local jail.... let them see what that is really all about and how it is so unfortunate for those people that we all wished we could help them to a better life, show them how life really exists for some people. I will also contact a friend of mine who had sent her troubled son to a weekend retreat, kinda like a military school.. he came back seeing his life in a whole new way. Just my thoughts, there's no "true" answers to parenting... we all make mistakes..it's a learning process for everyone.
I guess I'm not the only one, thanks you are very wise.

Sheebee's photo
Mon 08/04/08 06:50 PM
VERY!!

Sheebee's photo
Mon 08/04/08 06:45 PM
47

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 09:00 AM
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!! THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE!! I WILL KEEP PRAYING AND TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOM, MAYBE SOMEDAY IT WILL BE RECIPROCATED!

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:56 AM
I guess I got my answer, I gave up too easily. I was thinking of taking them back at the end of the summer. I'm just confused. So this is typical behavior?? Yes, I did take away the phones and I also bought software to block all of the popular sites the kids go on. About a month ago my 13 year old did not get her own way and ran away; I'm afraid that she will do it again. There are so many creeps out there and I have made both of my girls aware of that, and still she left! I am going to lay the rules down when they come back. I'm glad you had a good ending with your son. How long does this TWEEN stuff last??

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:51 AM
I'm so sorry about your Mom & Dad. I have a few good friends that are my family. I always wanted to know what is was like to call someone mom or dad, sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's gone; maybe my girls will realize. Like you said, I will take it one day at a time.

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:48 AM
I hope so. I have a 22 year old son who is a God send!! He will graduate w/a bachelors next summer. Why couldn't they be like him? :smile:

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:46 AM
Wow 5 kids, and your still here? I can't begin to imagine. Thank you for the advice.

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:45 AM
AHHH, backatcha :thumbsup: thx

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:44 AM
I'm hoping that they will appreciate me more. He is always the good guy. He is now taking them to Miami. So he is the hero, but he only sees them once every few months. So maybe they will see, I'm praying for that.

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:43 AM
Did not know about alateen; I will look into it. Thanx

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 08:35 AM
Edited by Sheebee on Sun 08/03/08 08:37 AM
I have two(girls) and I am going through a rough time. I have had serious problems, one recently tried to commit suicide and the other is just disrespectful and out of control. We are all in counseling right now, but things have gotten so out of control, I sent them to live with their Dad for the rest of the summer. He is in a very toxic relationship with his wife. His life is chaotic and out of control. I know that you may think I'm nuts for sending them there, but I felt like I was going to have a breakdown. I'm tired of doing everything by myself. My girls treat me like crap! I got both of my girls phones for their own protection and instead they have used it to verbally abuse me and hurt me. I have since shut the phones off. They tell me that they hate me and said that I was a selfish woman. This all started because I saw one of the very popular sites that all the kids are on, and the pictures they posted and the language they used was inappropriate. They have verbally attacked me, and it hurts. Now I'm just plain angry. Their Dad has never done anything for them and they glorify him. I'm seriously thinking about telling him to keep them & I will pay child support (something he recently started to do). I think this has come to bite me in the butt, I was a foster child my whole life, I never had a "real" family, have been on my own since the age of 16. I wanted them to have everything that I never did; perhaps I gave too much? Should I let them stay w/their Dad? Has anyone else experienced something similar? The one who tried to commit suicide (11 yr. old) did this because she felt unworthy of herself, said she was depressed. She was in the hospital for a week, then I signed her up for counseling, now she is treating me like crap and acting like her 13 yr. sister. I got rid of my alcoholic husband, because I thought that would help, I even asked them if they wanted me to bring him back home; they told me no. What am I doing wrong?? I feel like they really hate me, they say if you keep saying something repeatedly, that you are speaking from the heart.

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 07:47 AM
Freshly ground every day and made the old fashioned way with a percolator; nothing compares!!:smile:

Sheebee's photo
Sun 08/03/08 05:52 AM
Remember dime bag (2fingers), lid (3)fingers, oz. (4fingers) to measure the baggies (now that was the good ol'day); now they look like little tiny squares baggies with a pinch of weed (or so I heard)

Sheebee's photo
Sat 08/02/08 04:26 PM
Geeeezzzzzzzz, can you tell I'm new at this. oops

Sheebee's photo
Sat 08/02/08 02:48 PM
Put yourself in the other persons shoes. I was lied and cheated on, I will never ever do to a woman what was done to me! There is no gain in ill-gotten goods.

Sheebee's photo
Sat 08/02/08 02:37 PM
Well, I guess 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'....:smile:

Sheebee's photo
Sat 08/02/08 01:59 PM
"a nocturnal vacation unnecessary sedation I want to feel at home..."

Sheebee's photo
Sat 08/02/08 01:56 PM
I'm definitely having fun already. Thanx:smile:

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