In short, yes. Though, I don't think it's always subconscious. I believe a lot of people assume going into a relationship that their partner should make them happy 100% of the time.

Two problems with that:

1) Making you happy all the time may not actually good for you (heroin makes people happy). Sometimes you need someone to challenge you to be a better you, which is a good thing but not always easy.

2) Sometimes friction is not beneficial, but everyone has quirks. Compromise is part of being in a relationship. That doesn't mean you should change the core of who you are (that won't really happen anyway). You should, however take note of the things that you can't or won't change. That way, when you experience that missing 20% you can say either "I can deal with that" or "I just can't".

While it's hard to quantify how important certain factors are 80/20 is a good way to think about it.

Good point and nice post Peggy!

I know that this is probably intended for other women to reply, but every now and then guys take a break from sports and explosions. My favorite chick flick has to be Moulin Rouge.

You hit the nail on the head there. Just mark the time I'm replying.