Awwww

From me to you Mingle...
You have being a close friend of mine .. off and on for a long time ...
It's hard to put in words how much you mean to me.. how grateful I am to have a friend like you ..how grateful I am to have a friend that can listen quietly .. to let me rant on and on about whatever. Without judgment.. but acceptance !of who I am and giving me what I need... allowing me this place..To speak my mind.. a comfortable place to laugh out loud.. a safe place to connect with other people... I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I appreciate.. all you have done for me and those like me... you will always be the light in the Darkness.. sincerely.No1phd

I thought, it is doghnut?

Rescued from what?

I'm sorry you take offense at my preferences.
I think the only one that needs to deal with that is you?
I'm perfectly fine with my preferences because they are MY PREFERENCES.
Be well citizen...

Well Kitten is that your Bike.

It looks a little big for you.

No, see?

Here's the thing....

I took offense myself at your comment about seeking "perfection"..
We ALL want someone who is "perfect" for us, and deserve no less...
Taking less than what we deserve is called "settling"..

I get s*** about my prefernces all the time, but...the thing is?
It didn't hamper my late husband, or the man I was with for 8 years before him...my prefernces (which applied to both of them) and my difference from most other womne is waht drew thwem, and they found it unique and refreshing..

When i had been with my late husband several years, i was going through some stuff, cleaning out some drawers, and came across the copy of what I wrote for the personal add that I put in the Nashville Scene back years ago...(that attracted the guy I was with for 8 years before him).
I showed it to him, and said see?
I've *always* had the same standards...what I wrote then still applies today....

I learned from the travesty that was my first marriage (in the 80's) to be a bit more selective, and stand by my principles and beliefs in any further relationships...and, that has worked out much better, as evidenced by the both of them..

Just because someone's preferences and ideals and so forth don't suit you doesn't mean they aren't entitled to what they want..
I am sure YOuy have prefernces and so forth that other people might higly disagree with, but..you k bnow what?
That doesn't matter, because they arenb't you, and don't have to live your life..

To each their own.

Sounds like heaven

Ummm..he already *did* find someone.....LOL

Just because someone's criteria is different than yours doesn't mean they are looking for "perfection"....

When I was searching I didn't really study the profiles that didn't match.
Usually, the top line made me click away because I am extremely specific in my age and distance preferences.

The ones I don't care for are the ones within my age and preference range but are obviously liars in their profile.

When I view a pic(s) on a profile I not only look at her I also take note of what she wears and everything I can see in the picture background.

If I make it to the profile and there is actually interests listed, not only do I take note of her interests but I also consider how she wrote (worded) them.

If I get to her blurb, if I see her writing about things that counter act with what I see in her pic(s) or her interests, It shuts her down.

If she is negative in her blurb about scammers or fakes or gives some ultimatum, I shut her down.

If I read about how she just wants to be happy or loved I realize that she thinks those things come from outside and not within her, I shut her down.

If I manage to get to the bottom I note her statistics and compare them with what I found out above. If it doesn't match or no answer, I shut her down.

At the very end, I look at her mail preferences.
I look for preferences that match me.
If I can't message her to start a conversation, I shut her down.

I must stress that its the first line that eliminates most profiles for me.
But, I did find someone on this site, free, that had nearly nothing in her profile but her first line matched and she expressed and interest and we eventually met face to face.

The 'objective', for me, is to find one that matches my preferences.
If, for some reason she doesn't, I give her no further energy and move to the next.

It was that face-to-face meet that told me what I needed to know and so far its been almost 4 months and we're still 'good'.

Dating sites (apps) are tools.
When you use it as a tool, it works.
If you use the tool improperly you get wrong results.
Right now, I don't need to use that tool.
I come to the forums because I like the discussions.

I'll expand a lil:

If she has 4 pics and each pic has a different hair color - she can't make up her mind or she has a self-esteem issue.

If the picture background items don't match up with her proclaimed details.

Obvious signs of alcohol or drug use. Red-Nosed alcoholic, bloodshot eyes, bad hygiene, appearance of high stress or run down look in their faces.

Anything written that exhibits or implies she doesn't have control of herself. "I just want..."

Anything implying she is looking for a man to do...

A woman that puts her kids, pets or career as a personal priority.
This is a dating profile.
I'm looking to date her, not her kids or her dog or work with her.
The kids, dog and career is something I get with her so should only be mentioned once we get to know each other a bit.
Her profile needs to be about her and me(a match).
If its not all about finding me (potentially), she is looking for someone to use. Someone to raise her kids, walk her dog, take her to work if her car breaks down. All perfectly acceptable but not in a dating profile.
So, her priorities are messed up.

Obvious signs of narcissism.

What I believe is there are very few people (men or women) that know how to write a profile to find someone.
For me, what is important is accuracy and demonstration of intent to actually find someone.

Fill out the profile completely.
Its part of using the tool the right way.
Garbage In = Garbage Out

Love is in the air !

And here i thought that was the turkey farm down the road i was smelling.

I might join in