Oh, I've got crutches, an arm sling, and a knee brace if I need to pull out all the stops. Sympathy sex is still sex, right?

Had a CT scan on Saturday but haven't heard back since then. Still waiting to find out how bad it is.

The secret you seek is......



Monkey Butt Powder

Are you saying it will open up my sinuses too? Sign me up! That will sure beat having to get surgery so I can breath again.

I'll try to score me some moose poop, but I'm guessing its hard to come by down here, no meese.

We do have people that use those magic mushrooms that grow in cow poop. What kind of shrooms grow in sasquatch poop?

Thanks for the heads up, I'll switch to liquid plumber.

Do you Canucks have something that works better?

That's why I created the sasquatch thread.

Um, crystal meth and draino!

Alright, I'm gonna drop a little knowledge on you. Meeting women in the bar is my specialty. It's really simple, but you gotta keep a few things in mind.

1. Know how loud the music is. If it is too loud, she'll never hear you. If this is the case, open up you cell phone and type a text message like, 'Hi there, I was wondering if you'd like a drink' It's creative, sincere, and low risk.

2. Have a backbone. No matter what happens or where you are, stand or sit up straight. A guy that slouches looks week. Standing up straight will also give you mor confidence.

3. Check your breath! Nasty breath is a sure fire way to run her off.

4. When you are ready to make the move, just walk up to the lady, look her straight in the eye, and with a boyish smile, say, 'Hello. I find you extremely attractive and would like to get to know you better.' Cheesy lines may or may not earn you brownie points, but the simple, direct approach will always work. Either she will appreciate your directness or say she's not interested.

Of course, if you ain't got game, it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, your going home alone.

Oh yeah, those disposable ones go right through ya.

Cameras aren't very satisfying. I've tried eating a few of them but was always hungry again before long, especially if it was a Polaroid.

I thought you were having a sneeze attack.

Oh yeah. The last time I had it worked on, they packed my nose with liquid cocaine. I had to carry this card around for a month saying I had been given medical coke.

That's what I get for having fun. The doc just looked up my nose, shook his head, and said, 'Yeah, you'r gonna need surgery. But you already knew that, didn't you.'

I was like, yeah, when you've busted your nose 6 times, you kind of expect to need to have is rot-routered.

Doing better now. Had a dr's apt this morning to see 'bout getting my nose fixed. They want to do a CT scan to determine what all needs to be fixed. I'm just hoping I'll be able to breathe easily again once its all done.

Been working my fingers away all day today. This is just one of those busy weeks.

Those pine scented auto fresheners must have worn off. You should have smelled him before the bath. The Texas heat was not agreeing with whatever died in his fur.

No, I just volunteered to watch him over the holiday weekend since I was working.

With Dan, I thinks.

Believe it or not, the town was Ruston, Louisiana. That was the law for over 50 years. It finally got changed about 3 years ago.

As soon as the law changed, a whole bunch of national restraunt chains moved in to town. I guess capitalism finally won over morality.

Ok, let me drop some crazy logic on you. There is a town I know about where they only sell beer and wine because, and I quote, 'you can't get as drunk on beer and wine as you can on liquor.'

And this is from the enlighted people on the city council.

When I started college in LA, the drinking laws were messed up. You could purchase at 18 but couldn't drink until you were 21 (to comply with federal laws and get highway money), but they never enforced the 21 part.

When I was 23 they changed the law to 21 across the board. I knew many people that went from being able to buy at the bars to no being able to get in the front door.