hey does any one want to chat

I'm pretty new here, but there's something I want to say.
My stbx whom I filed for divorce from a little over 2 weeks ago was the
worst father and husband you could imagine. He was controlling and
abusive. He was in trouble with DCS several times, including once when
he beat my daughter so bad with a switch that she had bruises and
couldn't sit for days, had to take her to the doctor and DCS stepped in
and told me to leave him or they'd take all of my children. Stupid as I
was I went back to him when he agreed to go to anger management, and
parenting classes. A year or so after that he wanted to spank my 2 year
old for being in the kitchen, when I got between him and the 2 year old
he started grabbing me by the hair of the head and slamming me to the
concrete floors in our home. I had bruises on my legs, my neck and chest
from him slinging me around so hard in front of my 4 kids. I put him in
jail and took out an Order of Protection. He spent the night in jail and
stupidly I went back to him yet again within 2 months because I felt
sorry for him. He was going to have to have back surgery. I wanted to
keep my family together for the sake of the kids. Having come from a
broken family myself I didn't want my kids to have to go through that. I
fought hard to keep it together. There are so many times he abused me or
the kids I could write all day and never get it all out. If I was so
angry at him I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with him he'd come
to where ever I was sleeping (once on the kitchen floor) and pour water
on me to make me get up, told me if you can't sleep with me you can get
out. I was forced to have sex on many occasions against my will, I'd lay
there crying and saying please stop. Many of these times was after I'd
given birth, I could never go the full 6 weeks you are suppose to wait,
if I was lucky it would be 2 weeks before he'd make me have sex with
him.
If I was on the phone with family or friends he didn't want me speaking
to he'd take the phone and hang it up, I had to come to bed when he said
to come or else, I wasn't allowed to drive until I was about 22 years
old, we were married when I was 16 you see. I've even been 'spanked' for
not obeying him before.
We went to marriage couneselors, I went to counseling on my own and even
had to go on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds due to the stress I
was under from trying to keep peace in my home. You see, he'd snap
easily, you never knew if you were dealing with dr. jeckyl or mr. hyde
with him. Our home was total CHAOS. He hadn't worked in years due to his
'back injury'. I had to work and the kids would tell me how mean he'd
been to them while I was at work. He was always yelling and screaming
and hitting. He wouldn't keep the house clean, I could go on and
on...but you get the idea.
Finally I left him and I wanted to take my kids but he would not let me.
Over the past 6 months I've been refused to see my children, if I did
come to see them he'd send them to bed and I wouldn't get to see them,
only hear them cry for me, I was so scared and had been controlled by
him for so long that I believed him when he said I never had a chance in
hell to get my kids. He'd prove me unfit, etc. I believed his crap.
One day I went to see the kids and the house was disgusting, imagine the
nastiest filth you can imagine. My daughter was sitting int he floor in
dirt and vines (he did nursery work under the table for cash) and that
was the last straw. I could not let my kids live like this anymore, no
matter what I had to do I was about to do it. If I lost the kids, so be
it, but I'd be damned if I allowed them to live like this a minute
longer.
Finally a couple of weeks ago I got smart, pissed off, mad, angry and
just went into attack mode, and I went and filed for divorce, got a
restraining order. I took my kids stuff, as much as I could get, moved
them into my house, I have 2 jobs that I work. I got pictures of the
filth he had my kids living in. My daughters were left on the side of
the road and told to walk and pick up cans and two car loads of men
tried to pick them up, when I went off on him about this I was told to
leave and that I could not see my kids. I have tape recordings of this
conversation.
Anyway, the point of this post is that this being a public forum I know
he is a member here and he's talked a lot of shit about me and what a
horrible mother I am and how I 'abandoned' my kids, and that I'm a drug
addict (laughs...he used to grow marijuana in my house and I'd pour bug
spray in them to kill it)...etc.
He's a wolf in sheeps clothing, and I know I'm not perfect but damn, I'm
not what he's made me to look to be.
His mom has even slandered my name all over her church. Yes, I have a
girl friend and I won't deny it at all. I believe that children should
be in a loving home where two people love each other and don't argue and
fight all the time, whether they be opposite sexes or same sex. Who
cares what you do in your bedroom as long as your children have food,
shelter, love, clothing (which he won't let them have their clothes from
his house), etc.
A little tidbit for anyone whose ignorant, just because you're in a same
sex relationship doesn't mean you have sex in front of your children, oh
my god...I wouldn't ever do anything in front of my kids with my
girlfriend that I wouldn't have done in front of them with a man. And
how nasty of anyone to even think that I would. I'm not the one with the
sick twisted mind here.
I don't want this man back, I have no feelings for him sexually or any
other way I certainly am NOT jealous of him in any way what so ever,
ugh. I kind of feel sorry for him, but then I remember all the pain he's
put me and my kids through and that fuels me even more. I won't back
down. I don't have to lie or make up stuff for people to feel sorry for
me.
I have an order of protection and he didn't even show up for court
yesterday. He's hiding out and trying to keep from being served. If I'm
so bad, why is he the one who is on the run???
Why do the kids cringe if I mention 'daddy' to them? They don't want to
see him, how horrible is that? I asked them do you want to see daddy and
they say NO!

You may have figured out who I am talking about by now but I won't
mention any names because I don't need to. I just wanted to say my peace
since I've been talked about badly here.
That's all and I'm 0ut.

Man it must take a lot of work to keep up with so many lies, HR.