At school little Johnny’s class is learning about medicines.
Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.
The first pupil said: “Tylenol”
“Very good! And what is it used for?
It is used for a headache.
The second pupil said: “Nytol".
Excellent!” said Sister Catherine. “And what it is used for?
To help you sleep”, replied the student.
Now it is Johnny’s turn and he said: “Viagra".
And what is it used for, Johnny? asked the surprised Sister Catherine.
It is used for diarrhea.
And who told you this, Johnny?
Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father
Take a Viagra, and maybe that **** will get harder.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their
computer.
The husband puts, “Mypenis,”
Then the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,
“Error. Not long enough.”

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?
Johnny says, None. The teacher asks, Why? Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."
The teacher says, No, two, but I like how you're thinking.
Johnny asks the teacher, If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?
The teacher says, The one sucking her ice cream.
Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking:)

What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.