A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about this and asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: Well Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.


Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'



Maria: Your husband said so .'



Wife: 'Oh.' Maria '

The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.



Wife 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'



Maria: Your husband did.'



Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: '

My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'



Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'



Maria: 'No Senora, the gardener did.'

SHE GOT THE RAISE!

IMPORTANT HEALTH ISSUE FOR WOMEN


Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you
sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Patron.

Patron is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions.

Patron can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the
world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Patron almost immediately and with a
regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and
start living, with Patron.

Patron may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Patron. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Attraction to the same sex
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:
The consumption of Patron may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Patron may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of Patron may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Patron may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I
told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well,
the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in
the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed
three times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with
such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict
with him. : totals 12 cuckoos--MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told
him 'MIDNIGHT.' He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got
away with that one!
Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him
why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then
said, 'oh, ****.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed
another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over
the coffee table and farted.

What is up with this????
Can you hear the crickets chirping?

Geeez, last time I was on this ya'll were talking about pole dancing and jello shots! What happened?????????/

ok Debbie, checked the rules again and I'm good. Merle said that you would hook me up, so I'm ready!!!!!

ok Debbie...I'll try this once again. I signed on once before but nothing happened, but I'm still hopeful!

I think that age is irrelevant-it's a state of mind. I will be 46 in 2 weeks. I have been single for about 6 years, and don't think about having to have someone in my life. I have met some younger men who are very mature, and some older men who act like they have one foot in the grave! It's all about attitude and you should never have a pre-conceived judgement about someone because of their age. Just an observation...

I think that age is irrelevant-it's a state of mind. I will be 46 in 2 weeks. I have been single for about 6 years, and don't think about having to have someone in my life. I have met some younger men who are very mature, and some older men who act like they have one foot in the grave! It's all about attitude and you should never have a pre-conceived judgement about someone because of their age. Just an observation...

ok gang... thanx for the initiation! I will have to pole dance or whatever else tomorrow brings later. I have to work early. It has been fun and you haven't seen the last of me yet.
NITE!

ok...so maybe you don't have to be that gentle!

ok...this is my first time in a chat room ever! so be gentle. I'll play. I haven't had any luck yet.