My daughter is spoiled since my divorce too, but there are things that are not and will never be allowed in my home. Name calling, hitting and spitting are among them. My daughter is three so I don't have much name calling right now, but, when she is bad I don't put her in her room. I put her in a chair in a corner with no toys, no tv and no entertainment at all. I also don't spare the rod if plan A doesn't work. Sorry, but as a single mom I don't need her running over me. I always make sure she also knows why she is in trouble to give her the opportunity to not do it again. It seems to be working, but you have to start early or it is an uphill battle to get them back on track.