1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Good Sex Life:

A husband leans over to his wife in a bar and says, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over 50 years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says. "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good, idea!" she says.

There's a man sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them behind the tavern. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the man has ever seen. This goes on for about 40 minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The man is amazed. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. As the couple passes the man, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years, ago that wasn't an electric fence."

well thanks for all the info i did go and see it yesterday and it was pretty good, didn like all the moving made me dizzy lol. but the previews for the other movies that are coming out look cool.

yeah thast awsome what do u think of london?

no i dont i wasn alloud to when i was doing some modeling, but im getting some soon though not sure where just yet though. glad ur doing better now though, i love playing ice hockey its what i did most of the day

lolhow many do u think u have? how did u hurt u back? are u ok now?

with r williams of course really like that moviee.......ok totaly changing the subject now, since we have our own little forum going here looked at ur profile (hope u dont mind) ur into ice hockey same here and i love tattoo on men

that would of been a good one to see at the movies yeah that scared me........ thansk now ill have nightmeres lol

yeha iv seen that one lol now 13 ghosts is that one with the jackle in it?

i liek comedy anf horror i watched that ummmmmm 30 days of nights creeped me out lol the best movie that had to make me think was matrix lol

iv seen that its funny u shoudl get it i liked it,i want to get that game plan

yeah i no what u mean im starting to get a collection myself,i did rent that boogieman2 and man was it rubbish and i got good luck chuck now that was funny

always have to be a late movie, its the best time to watch them, Im a movie holic lol whast the last movie u went to see?

lol yeah thast a good idea and the people who just talk threw the movie..throw the old popcorn at them lol i remember when i went to see i robot with will smith in there was this couple and no lie she was giving him a blow job and they were not even being dicreet about it lol

so extra ice in urs. Here if u order large popcorn and drink u get twizzlers free aaannnd...... u get a free refill on ur popcorn lol not that i can get threw a whole bucket of popcorn lol

welll first of all i would like extra butter on my popcorn and then a large pepsi. How about you? what would u take ?

oooooooooooooooooo ur a sneak in ur own goodies guy....i like that. im the same but u still have to get the popcorn and a large or its just not the same lol

heyyy u have to get the popcorn,drink and candy lol but im sure it would cost allot more if u were to take me lol

yeha i was thinking it was like a blair witch project so i wasn sure if it would be good to see it, well imight just have to go and see it now lol u just cost me 20 dollers now lol

didn u get motion sickness lol? people been saying its like godziller ??