Last night I attacked a hornet’s nest with a stick when I did a post called “Are you wondering where all the nice guys are?” Within the first 5 minutes of posting, the article received over 190 page views along with 30 some comments. This went on strong for the next 7.5 hours, gaining 3546 page views and over 536 comments, and is still picking up stragglers as we speak. If you were there or you have seen the article, you know what was going on, or do you.

Now you would think, that for a guy to put out an attack on women, on a dating site, it would be taken as social suicide. But is that what was really happening? Was I really attacking women for saying one thing and doing another? Was I really speaking for the guy’s that have been thinking this, but were afraid to say it. Could I have been trying to flush out the players from the nice guys? Was there a motive behind this madness?

Before I continue, I would like to thank everyone who read the post. More importantly I would like to thank everyone who commented on the article, especially those of you that kept it going for 7.5 hours. I believe that that would be the feisty women of JSH, who worked over time, and added great commentary. Ladies I couldn’t have done it without you. There were also a few guy’s out there that were dishing it out good as well.

Ok so what have we learned from this post? Anybody?

There is an old saying that goes something like this.

You can catch more flies with a little honey, than you can with a lot of vinegar. However if the flies don’t know where the honey is, you catch nothing.

1. We learned that women are always right, especially when they are wrong.

2. We learned that women as well as men can get dissed for just being normal.

3. We learned that the real nice guy’s are probably the ones that opted out of this topic in the very beginning, or by saying very little.

4. We learned that the players, who are probably somewhat nice guys, are the ones that sucked up to the women the whole time, afraid that if they didn’t they would get nothing.

5. We learned that even an idiot like me, as long as he speaks with honesty, can get over 200 views and over 100 emails from women that he has never met, in just a few hours.

One thing is for certain, you can’t judge a person or a post by its cover. Yesterdays post was not in any way a reflection of anybody, man or woman, including me. It was only posted to test your reactions, and you all did quite well.

Thanks for your participation and Have a great day.

Thanks Shadow finally someone who really got it

I see, just another woman that says one thing but really means another.

You know IndnPrncs I just had to stop over and see your profile to see just how much a$$ you expected me to bite. As far as I can see you have none.

Who are you kidding. I am having so much fun watching all this and writing to all of those who have viewed my profile, that I hardly have time to get a word in anyway.

I have to thank all of you for your response and for keeping this thread going.

Outlaw

As I sit back and watch the response to this post, I feel that it has indeed accomplished it’s purpose so far. I have posted this before at another dating site where the response was not this good.

The post itself, while aimed at women in this case, surely doesn’t exclude men, and in no way should it be said that women don’t get hurt as well, I’m sure they do.

The whole point of the post is basically, Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are going to go out with a player, then accept your own fate.

Am I a “nice guy”?, at times. Am I an asshole?, at times. But am I afraid to say it?, never. After all I am a real Outlaw, what do you expect. Outlaws are the nicest people you will ever meet.

BTW guys while you are figuring out just which way this will go, I can honestly say that it has gotten me several visits from many women that I may have never even seen.

Good luck.

As I look over the many profiles here, the one thing that I see a lot is: Where are all the nice guys, or just looking for a nice guy, or are all the nice guys taken, etc… you get the idea.

So what happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: You did.

Think back, really hard and maybe you will vaguely remember a nice guy who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He would tag along with you when you went shopping. He would stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely, but didn't feel like going out. He would even sit there and hold you and listen while you sobbed and told him about how much of an asshole the other guy that you were ****ing was.

Perhaps at the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how much he was like a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him.

They may have even teased you a little because they thought he had a crush on you. Of course you denied having any romantic feelings for him, and claimed that you were "just friends."

Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was maybe a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your nice guy buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, since you weren’t dating him.

More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship.

So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, What happened to all the “nice guys“?

Well, once again, It was you.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “nice guy“.

Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open, or make dinners just because, or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned that you really wanted five months ago, or listen when you were upset, or held you when you cried.

He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the asshole boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that.

I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of “nice guys” stumble into their lives, if that.

So ladies, if you're looking for the “nice guy“, here's what you should do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a “nice guy“, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

That is, if you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. After all your getting older. It's time to can the bull**** and deal with the reality.

You didn't want a “nice guy” then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you now.

On the other hand. The nice guy might still be right here, perpetrating a badass just to see what you will do.


The Outlaw Wolf

I remember everything about my first kiss, but her name. My dad was in the military and we were living just outside the base (Ft Custer, Augusta, Michigan) .

I thought that Coronal Paige’s daughter who lived several hundred feet down the road on the opposite side of the street was a hottie even though she was a year or two older than I was.

In trying to impress her I had climbed this extremely tall mulberry tree, a branch broke and I fell about 20ft to the ground breaking my collar bone.

While I was in the hospital she visited me and gave me this kiss on the mouth, it was a good bye kiss, they moved away and I never seen her again.

I was six and in the first grade. She was seven or eight and in the second or third grade.

Outlaw

Ok well I didn't see AI tonight, there are some things more important like spending the afternoon & evening & part of the next morning(14hrs)at the casino. BTW No I didn't do well.

Anyway so does anyone know if the kid that blew tuesday nights audition made it or not?

And BTW a Happy Valentines Day to all the ladies

Personally I don't think too awful much of her singing either. Did you hear Jordin do the National Anthem for the Super Bowl?

I would have rather seen Blake win. Oh well thats how the voting goes.

Outlaw Wolf here Grand Rapids, Michigan also. Miss Pixel Chick, I know you. Well maybe not know, but have seen you. I rarely forget a face and I go everywhere around here.

And just how far did you get?

And just how fair was it last night that the last guy totally screwed up the audition and he still got to stay, WTF.

You know that the people that got the boot are going to see the show.

There were ones that I thought they should have keep, but this kid falls apart under pressure, can't work with the band, totally blows the last audition, and he gets to stay.

Seems to me he was blowing more than just the audition.