I also note that no-one has really taken seriously my description of someone who loves likes Christ loved. I'd love to hear someone run with my description of a modern-day person who's very very similar to Jesus - and to really look at how they might love. (Not to go back to the bible and try to dig out pre-digested quotes or concepts - but to really look for the underlying quality of love that Jesus demonstrated - and to consider how that might be maximised today in a romantic or an intimate way.)

It seems that we're too rooted in biblical injunctions to actually step back and consider what Christ might look like if he were around today. (And if He was happy to break as many taboos as He was when he first came.)

I'd still love to hear more answers to the questions I've asked in this thread (both in the original question and my follow up questions).

I still haven't really gotten a direct answer to the above question.

(Maybe using a forum like this isn't the best place to discuss important issues. I've noticed that some respondents are quite happy to react negatively to a particular aspect of something I might write, yet are unwilling to actually engage in the discussion by answering the questions I've asked. It feels a little like having someone verbally attack me - but then when I respond by saying "OK, lets discuss this" they run away.)

Wow!

I write...



Elsewhere you talk about the importance of mutual respect.

Yet all you do is to say I'm sinning and misguided... and ignore virtually every question I write. (Questions which are not condescending--but focused on really asking and really thinking about a critical question that should be at the centre of any Christian's thinking.

Can you please point out one single thing I stated that is against any of your beliefs? I may have asked questions you don't want to consider. But is there even one thing I stated that is against your beliefs?

And if you truly wish to follow Christ - then why is your primary answer that they should get married--an answer even the Pharisees would have given--when my question is about loving as Christ loved?

And if as you say in your profile that "I am open to talk about my faith, mutual respect is appreciated." Then please actually answer some of the questions I've asked instead of making accusations.

I've asked about a dozen questions. You've given a partial answer to one. This doesn't sound like someone who's open and who is willing to be mutually respectful.

I appreciate that your answer is a typical Christian answer.

Indeed, if we love as Christ loved then all of our actions and our entire being is centred on being loving. And this serves as a wonderful example to all that we minister to and to all who come across us.

The important question is whether we focus on being unconditionally loving, or on looking like a good christian (in the same way that the Pharisees were more concerned about looking like good religious people).

I don't see Christ in the Gospels being too worried about how religious people viewed him. Why would I then follow the Pharisees on this?

Nor would I want to focus more on the other aspects of the Bible more than on Christ's teachings.

Christ said in Matthew 5.7-10: You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

So if Christ spoke primarily of love, and little of other parts of the Bible that I presume you might now be thinking about - then I want to follow His teachings, more than the commandments of men now taught as doctrine.

Why do you go straight to "they should get married" when Christ never said this?

And why do you not bother to answer the questions I put? (And to do so in reference to Christ's teachings instead of other doctrine.)

(Please don't take this as an attack. I appreciate your time and involvement in trying to represent Christ's word. And, I consider it very important to love as Christ loved, so if we go straight to quoting non-Christ teachings and ignore looking at how He loved - and applying that to our own lives - then I think we're really missing something extremely important.)

Conrad - Sorry, I don't understand. what makes you think that I believe Jesus was less than a man?

Hi Guys.

Sorry. I've been flat out in the last month or so, so I haven't been able to come back to the discussion till now. I'll try to come back more regularly this time.

Thanks for your replies and thoughts.

I liked LadyLid's and MsHarmony's answers and example of unconditional love. Certainly, I feel unconditional love is the core of Christ's love.

However, no-one answered the question "If we were to love romantically as Jesus loved us, what rules of relationship would we follow? Would they be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage, or something else?"

i.e. If we are to love unconditionally (i.e. without conditions) then would the rules of our love be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage?

I also felt that some of the answers (particularly Cowboy's) were very lofty pious ones - suggesting you should love others even more than you love yourself (which is beyond what Jesus asked of us - which was to love others as we love ourselves--which includes giving some strong attention to loving oneself.)

And Ladywind said that she's not sure we are capable of loving as Jesus did. Certainly this is a very common belief, and your view would be supported by maybe 95% of Christians. However, if you believe this, when when Jesus said that his one commandment is to love as he loved - do you think he was exaggerating / lying / teasing us / or setting us up for failure? Or did he mean that we should love as he LOVED (while alive - i.e. an unconditional acceptance of everyone)as distinct from loving as he now loves (i.e. a cosmic, spiritual, God-like love)? And if so, why do so few people really focus on trying to live this out? (e.g. How many Christians do you know who have spent time trying to determine how they might love romantically as Jesus loved?)

I also noticed that many answers jumped straight to considering marriage (even though Mingle.com is primarily a dating site). Is this an example of trying to be religiously correct?

I guess a core part of my question might be phrased along the lines of...

"Imagine some really cool, loving, happy, God-connected, gorgeous guy or girl was walking around in complete connection with God and loving everyone unconditionally. Imagine that s/he didn't worry too much about what all the religious people say we should be doing. That s/he was quite happy to hang around prostitutes, to drink, to smoke dope, to have a great time with everyone - without any judgement. And that everyone s/he was with felt great in her/his company. And let’s assume that s/he isn't celibate and doesn't worry about, talk about, or have any issues with making love before marriage. In fact lets assume this cool guy/girl has written four books about living well - and that they pretty much all focus on loving everyone unconditionally and with complete acceptance - and that the only thing s/he says against any type of sex is that if you've pledged to be faithful to your wife or husband that you should be.

Then how might this really cool, loving, happy, God-connected, gorgeous guy or girl love romantically?

Would s/he only make love to one person? Would s/he focus her/his (non-physical) love on only one person? Would s/he worry a lot about getting some pastor or government official to sign a piece of paper declaring that s/he loves someone for the rest of her/his life? Would s/he make a big distinction between expressing love generally... / in a deep, personal, connected, but non-physical way... / or intimately in a physical way? Or would her/his love be expressed to the maximum degree - in whatever way brings most joy and connection and bliss and healing and oneness to whoever s/he is with?

What are your answers - to the questions in the previous paragraph, and the other questions interspersed through this post?

I look forward to hearing more from those who have already answered... and hopefully other newcomers to the forum as well. :)

Jesus only gave us one commandment: "Love one another, Love as I have loved. This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples." - John 13:34 (and 15:12).

Yet very few people seem to go on to ask the obvious question: "OK. Well then in terms of romantic relationships. How would I love if I were to love as Jesus loved?"

And what rules of relationship would I follow? Would they be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage, or something else?

What would your answers be to these questions?