-This is really good, but mind if I do some crits?-

Moonlight shown in silver tone
She spied a lover within her glow [explain..]
On his knee in pale moonlight [this is a strong line]
A tear had formed and shone so bright[yerr using 'shone/shown' a lot]
A bundle of roses within his hand
An offer of love within his grasp
A ring then offered with quivering sigh [offer should be changed..yew used it in the line before]
He hoped and prayed this perfect night [this line sticks out and is unnecessary]
His lover's face adorned with tear [nice...however, yew've changed POV..]
Bid him stand and held him near
Her voice had spoke in words unsaid [spoke in? or spoken? i'm confused..]
And felt the moment in which they tread
The answer came with kiss so dear [a kiss or just kiss? either way it works]
Their hearts had purged their doubt and fear [strong..^^]
Bound together with love this night
Proposal accepted in love's moonlight. [this is a nice ending]

These are some simple crits..I really liked it and hope yew don't mind me critiquing yerr poetry..yew have quite the skill.
There's a website I think yew may like-www.poetry.org It's really useful and I love it.

-Lozer =3

Kurt Cobain is the kewlest cat that
ever lived. xD
well, how I interepreted the quote was sorta like,
"You may read some random shxt about me,
but I'll always know who I am..."
I'd hope I'm not the
only one who sees it that way?

He was really smart..he has lots of
other great quotes, too..

Agreed. xD

Well, our warrant JUST
expired in November..
how much shxt is that?!?

So it's gonna be about
150 to fix..but it'll
totally be worth it.

That 360 is my fxcking
baby...xD

Well thankiez!

I mean, I know there
doesn't need to be tons of changes,
but it's not very
'poetic' if yaaa ask me..

maybe I'm just too much of a
perfectionist? xD

well, thankiez ferrr teh crit<3

One of my favest
quotes is:

"I started becoming really proud of
the fact I was gay, even though I knew
I wasn't." by Kurt Cobain<3

...No one understands that one,
but I don't see what's so hard to
comprehend!

Well, thankiez...

^^;;

Any crits..?!? xD

I'm dying to make this
better..

Meh, I don't want a Wii.
I want a 360...

*sigh*

Thankiez...

This is prolly the last
thing I post on here..
I get too confused..xD

Yesh, sure am a chick. xD

Well, I know..I've been
writing poetry for as long
as I can remember...

erm, this is what I've been
through...yew guys confuse
me here...

Wow..how..sweet..^^;;

Oh, and I'm, a girl...
Not a guy. ^^;;

Well, any..erm..crits?

::new here, just thought I'd
post a little something I've
been working on diligently
lately..crits welcomedd..::

_____________
Ride Home.


Sitting there alone,
You're beside me screaming,
and my voice is rasping such a lowly response.
I tap quickly the buttons to the one I love,
While you make such remarks about his manhood
And how he'll never become anything.

Tears fall once more, and the scene becomes blurry.
A sharp pain in the back of my head agrees.
Once more a smack with your strong hand,
And then your knuckles ungracefuly collide with my
tearful cheeks.


Reddened and bruised,
I lose service, as you continue to rant.
Unapologetic, I continue to cry.
I fight back with words and attack your
flaming ignorance with my schooled mind.

He's more of a man than you'll ever be.
__________________________
Like I said, Crits appreciated,
and I'll crit back. Promise<3

-Lozer =3

Well,
I've had mine for a while now, and 2 days ago it brokededed. So I'm totally pissed. It's never broken before. Never. And I'm a HUGE gamer-so It's basically my life. What am I supposed to do now?!?

I'mma die...