In a pick up truck.

Gas or the oh so infamous "that's what she said" . I've seen many friends go streaming down in a conversation by talking to the woman like she was one of the guys, or by letting one rip. Oh well i guess it's for the best.

Beer goggles only help sometimes

Anyone want to take a crack at mine

Id tell her it was fun, but there's no connection.

haha

The best. I was at a bar the other night and out of nowhere a midget comes up and starts dancing with me. Might have been the father?

Haha still the same place. Good to see. Is it a boy or girl?

Life has been a busy gig lately. I miss anything good?

It's not too bad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0442933/


Review ^^

Just got back from work so now i'm going to count my money and cry at how little i made.

I don't mind a good belching contest every now and again. Silly girls think they can beat us men.

One of my first girlfriends used to like jumping onto my lap and farting. She thought it was the funniest thing ever.

None in fact.

If you think thats bad i brought this girl i had been dating for a while to the house. We were watching some movie i can't recall the name when out of nowhere my senses were assaulted by this terrible odor. I looked over at my dog ashamed, and hoped she wouldnt blame me. About 20 minutes later i heard something and just played it off as a creek in the couch. So the movie ends and she gets up yo grab a glass of water...next thing i know she lets one fly. The brass of this girl, she tried blaming my dog. I promptly and very nicely got up tossed her some beano and sent her on her merry way.

I pick the winners

Well if details you want details you shall get.

i had been talking with this girl for some time, and we finally decided to go out o0n a date. So i take her to this decent little restaurant where everything is going well. Good conversation, the whole nine yards. Our food comes out ,i got a new york strip, she ordered some pasta plate. Things are still going well. I look down to cut a piece of my steak, and when i look up shes giving me the look like hey gimme a smooch. So of course i lean in for one. Then mama bird tries to force some linguini into my mouth. I maturely backed away knocking over my water and spitting like taz from loony tunes. After that i didn't take my eyes off of her in fear that she migt try some other weird stuff. I dropped her off at home, then proceeded to start my career in beer pong at the local bar.

Nice guys finish last. It's a bane...

I am. My food was way better than what she ordered.

I'm full of all sorts of tales. I've had an interesting 25 years. Yeah she was definately an odd one. I didn't see it coming though. She seemed pretty normal up until that point.

Okay you win. That's an impressive story. The only time i received a wound from a fight was when my friend and i (around the age of 8) had a "My little buddy" fight. He cracked me in the face with his and the little bastards nose cut my cheek open. Afterwards i ripped his my little buddies head off and buried it in the neighbors yard.