A man meets a woman at a bar and they go to her place. They're undressing and he drops his trousers. She points to his messed up knees and asks what happened. He says 'when I was young I contracted kneesles'. She says 'you mean measles'. He says 'no, I actually got kneesles'. She shrugs and continues undressing. When he removes his socks she looks at his sorry toes and asks about them. He says 'shortly after the kneesles, I contracted toelio'. She says 'you mean polio?'. He says 'no, I got toelio'. She shrugs it off, until he drops his shorts. She looks again and says 'don't tell me - smallcox'.

wotsit fan dabby dosey wet cheesy humperdink chuffed snog smelly doba doo da thingy me jig poopin turtle boobie woozle snausages

<--- nice way to make me perv your profile

I am already naked but you can help me with one thing

Strips you down, invites you to the tub

I was hiding behind the bear suit.

Oh yes!!! need help there

Well, you can't bath with clothes on Lizz, waiting for that.

craving for what??? details

A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a

gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.


He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"


"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."

Anything for you ,as long as you don't find the soap ever again ,

Princess.

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.


The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."


The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.


"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Oh yes!!! I was born ready.

That is all under "stuff" with rose petals, champagne, I had to make you guess.

I have turned it into a bath now, with candles and stuff :P

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your *****?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

Angel..
Angel is here no more dirty thoughts from me.