I used to write a long time ago. Recently my exwife found me on Myspace and we started emailing. It has put me in an odd place. Many different feelings started resurfacing, much more than I expected. I started writing again for the first time in over 10 years.

Just about the time I've been married. I am really hating myself lately. I actually am becoming as pathetic as I feel.

How can you hurt?
Without feeling the pain through years
Without knowing the cause

The agony I’ve freed
It’s simply killing me
Why did I seek it out and let it into me?

Self inflicted complication
Just a dead horse and a violent beating
Just could not leave it dead and gone
How could I have held this much pain so long?

How can this possibly be real?
The crippling nature of these dormant things I feel
Shouldn’t these nightmares be all over now?
It all floods back so quickly somehow

I should be falling on the floor
It’s all to real, I can’t have this anymore
Just days ago I was fine inside
Now it is the truth and my past is a lie

Can I make it be finished?
Can’t I just let it be done?
I’ve lost myself in memories
And cannot hold onto one