I am Say I
I live, l die
I am Say I
I love, I hate
I am Say I
It is my fate
I am Say You
Not who you knew
I am Say I
There’s no debate
I am Say I
Just moving on

What is this light I always see?
Eyes closed tight its following me
Buzzing round me like a bee

Is this the light that I should follow?
An enlightened path to a new tomorrow

What is this thing inside of me?
Reaching out to be set free

Cannot deny that inner voice
For when I do my eyes grow moist
With memories of all things past
That builds these walls that seem so vast

What is this thing that we call touch?
It seems that it is just too much
For such a loner’s mind like mine
To many times seen bad intentions
Too many years of abstention

What is this light I always see?
Eyes closed tight its following me
Buzzing round me like a bee

An enlightened grand new path
That shows me what I need to know
Touch is what we really need
To set our souls adrift at sea

What is this light I always see?
It’s time to be a new draftee
And follow it the master key
To set my soul adrift at sea

The World Today

What is wrong in the world today?
There's something I just have to say

We consume with no regret
Until there's surly nothing left

Genocide in Syria
The news is just not serious
The world just sits to watch it play
Like something on that real TV

Shallow things are what we want
That leaves behind a rotten taste
While people die and people starve
So we can drive much bigger cars

What happened to lost times of past
When those that have helped those in need
Instead loving only greed

Politicians they just think it grand
When fear around is all that stands
And if two wars are not enough
Let start another one more tough

People need to stand and fight
For morals, rights and life to be
And start a new community

I’ve developed a fear of shopping carts….

Second floor and all you kind of get used to needing one now and then
So I managed to nab me of those “baby” carts from giant tiger that was loaming in the halls here.

It seemed so harmless at the time..

Cleaned out the shop yesterday and moved it into the hallway and sure
Enough I managed to walk into it at full stride at some point.
I am now brandishing a brightly multicolored broken baby toe.

I would have to say that the shopping cart won the battle this time.

I did keep just the same.

Until I am not in pain...

As need it as a crutch....

It's such a contradiction

To my current condition....

Not living in the past
Just burying the bad
And
Saving all the good
Slowly.........
A step forward
Carefully......
Into the future
Speechless.....
Is that what this make you?
Understanding..
I completely do

College Days

I remember my college days
Toronto bound a strange new town
The Queensway right near St. Joseph’s
Was the place where I could be found

Around nineteen if I recall
Wiser than a kid should be
From all the things already seen
A streetwise loner in such a town
Survival skill already learned hands down

But socially a child was I
So caught within as not to see
Those others that surrounded me
The only one in my family
To get past nine in school you see

Rooming house strange place to be
For a loner such as me
Three squares a day were in the price
So I suppose it did suffice

Eight hours in School to pass the test
Then head on down to Queen Street West
To do piece work on leather shoes
Another eight no time for blues
It paid the way to future days

Days go by such monotony
But soon a light a social tree
Soon I had a best friend Matt
A lot like me from Sault Saint Marie

Runnymede was next for me
Another friend I made indeed
An apartment was agreed
Eight hundred bucks was half the rent
No kitchen sink include in
Hamburger please pray for me
Was the staple in the sea
Bean sprouts were from China town
A sweet deal at forty cents a pound

Southern comfort and JD
Where other friends to me indeed
Scarborough was the place to be
On Friday nights with city lights
Nursing schools and party sounds

Oh Matt my friend where drunk indeed
For no one else from what I can see
Can manage to get locked within
The subway at three ten am

Time has passed since college days
I have changed in so many ways
Fond memories of the people that
Have touched my life in years gone past

People come into our lives
Like actors in a play that strives
They make their mark in special ways
Some they stay to walk with us
But others fade into the past
Leaving traces for us to cast

These people in our lives you see
Regardless if they walk or fade
All mold us into whom we are
And guide us like the northern star

Judy

My friend you know it’s been awhile
I’ve heard about your life’s great trial
And hope to lift you up awhile
And maybe even get a smile

Life’s challenges they come to us
Even if we drive a bus
Despite the fact we make a fuss

I would like to telegraph
All the strength inside of me
So you could add it to your own
When it seems that hope has flown

I hope to see you really soon
So we can sit out by the store
And watch the people in the park
And maybe eat a butter tart

I send to you my love indeed
In this your time of greatest need
I hope you can accept this gift
From a friend that wants to lift
Your hope so high that it takes flight
To sum itself with all God’s might
And join with you to win the fight

Brandon

Blood brother, step brother
It’s all the same me

You were all but seven or eight
When I became a part of your life
For what was I but just turned twelve

Circumstance
Our lives would cross
Memories
Of Childhood lost
Sadness
I still feel for you

Rotten Souls
That would take life

Grief
For what you could have been
Peace
I hope envelopes you
Love
I hope is all you feel
Hopefulness
You’re in a better place

My little brother
I will never forget you

I simple thing a school yard swing
A pendulum of steel and chain
With leather seat to make it sweet

Concrete footings in the ground
To make you feel that it is sound

I used to go late Saturday
When no else was out to play
And take the middle swing as mine
To melt away a loner’s time

With stretched out arms I’d lay right back
And thrust my weight with every pass
To reach a point of resonance

I’d close my eyes in great escape
To watch the colors and the shapes
That imagination soon creates
When eyes are closed in revelry
Against a blue sky all can see

With increasing amplitude
I’d push the limits to the moon
In hopes to gain more altitude

To reach the point I am aiming at
When the chains begin to slack
So I could reach infinity
As my body soon broke free
From the laws of gravity

Never really though of it as a song, although when i write i do have a rhythm and cadence in my head as the words flow.

I did play alto sax in high school years ago and have always had an acoustic guitar around to finger pick on ( can't strum worth a ****) but can play a few of the pink floyd solo's such as the picking sections of "Wots...Uh the Deal" my favorite older floyd song and "Is their anybody out there".

I doubt i have the skills to compose music although i have not really ever tried it. I think if i had someone that could compose the music and somehow i could convey the rhythm in my head to them a lot of them could be songs.

I have only posted the ones i am currently writing, i have been writing these since my teens i suppose, i haven't really shared any of my writings until i joined this site and lately i've been averaging about 5 per month, i woke up sunday morning with this one in my head

They are all emotionally charged and many have double meanings, at least to me. I am not sure what feelings they instill in a reader..

Another that has evolved final version

Lightning

Reach out and hold it
Even if you don't really know if

When a touch turns to so reeling
It results in a feeling
Not wrought with a meaning
You wonder inside you
If the person beside you
Was feeling the same as you did

When touch turned to lightning
Just a little bit frightening
A strong current was flowing
Attraction has taken its hold

You both just don't see it
But the universe means it
To be just so reeling
An earth shattering feeling
With no resistance to slow it

You're soul starts revealing
Your deep inner secrets
To the soul that’s beside you
In a way so magnetic
You won't ever forget it
And wouldn't let go if you could

You know deep inside you
Soul energy transferred
That moment your bodies had touched
With no explanation and a flash of elation
You know you can actually feel love

This one has evoled a little, here's the final version of it.

Broken Ice

Your feelings have long since survived
The curiosity that’s been denied

The love inside no place to go
Years of suppression taken toll
Would friends around you just repeal?
If the truth inside you was revealed

Misread signals broken paths
To loves true freedom meant to last
For what it is not strings attached

You know denial is not the guide
It’s just not prudent just to hide
Living freedom is just so true
That fear around you turns to blue
The truth inside you sends a clue

Those friends around you may suspect
The yearning in you to connect
A soul that wants just to deflect
A soul that’s wrought just with confusion
Between the truth and a need for solution

Sunday morning is just so boring
When there’s no one by your side
Sunday morning my life needs shoring
For shelter from the tide

I need an action a grand distraction
So my mind doesn’t run and hide
Sunday morning would have some flooring
But Instead I just get fried

Sunday morning could be elating
If I took it all in stride
Sunday morning would not be boring
With a soul mate by my side

Sunday morning would be so roaring
If I could feel your body next to me
I could make you a special breakfast
Complete with some green tea
And we could watch the Sunday sunrise
While are bodies touch in glee

Sunday morning is just so boring
When there’s no one by your side
Sunday morning needs some flooring
Instead I just get fried

the first time i posted this one was really raw and its changed along the way so i figured i would post what it has evolved to.

Usually my stuff doesn't flow in one motion, often a collection of thoughts that eventually through some external trigger or a feeling somehow come together.

This one was the first in a long time that flowed as is in the first post in about an hour. Sometimes i go back and refine a write but often i don't, this one seemed unfinished i guess in my mind.

thanks to all for your comments


I can write in Rhythm and Rhyme
But only when I find the time
I can write sparse thoughts of mine
If I parse them from my mind

If I could speak these thoughts of mine
A brew long syne that unbinds the twine
That holds those thoughts within my mind

Mixed signals when I see them great
Simply make me want to hesitate
My mind begins to adumbrate
And slowly starts to advocate

There is no quest the truth we zest
The path is filled about to crest
With ebbing tides of frustration
A Growing sense of aggravation
Instead of simple adaptation

A need to speak the things we think
And find the time to be in sync
A simple thing you ask of me
Intentions are my great oak tree

It seems you seek an answer true
To the question inside you
So ask it now you have the right
I will answer it with truths fair light
Ignoring fears that you’ll take flight
My soul can clearly separate
And promptly swiftly abdicate
For it can surely acclimate
A future it can sublimate

I hope we can put this aside
To face the future with a pride
And walk together in a stride

What you decide just will not be
An end of what you mean to me
For I believe my soul can see
A part of yours meant just for me

Inside these walls that I have built
Emotions patched just like a quilt
The first time in my life anew
Not everything is all askew

I’ve broken down the walls within
In hope that something new begins
The dam has cracked no going back
It would not be the proper track

I cannot read your soul to note
Nothing left inside to quote
Conversation seems the safest boat
To navigate around this moat
And lift us with security
To find a new maturity

These signs are what I really need
To show those inner sides of me
My soul caught in a pantomime
Resulting in a double prime

I wrote this one in about an hour earlier tonight its the result of a passing feeling i had earlier this evening...I remember at the time thinking "this is uncharted territory"...

Believe or not I am 19 years old in that picture

I remember in grade school probally grade 7 I wrote a short story about the death penalty via the electric chair in the view point of the crowd gathered to witness the execution. It included full commentary from the crowd with both a pro and anti viewpoint.

Far be it to say i never did get that story back and it resulting in a bunch of teachers thinking i needed counseling.....

Then again, some of those same teachers used to say i was stupid and would never amount to anything as well.....

I guess they couldn't understand how a twelve year old could talk with such insite

I can write in rhythm and rhyme
But only when I find the time
I can write sparse thoughts of mine
If I parse them from my mind

If I could speak these thoughts of mine
A brew long syne to unbind the twine
that keeps these thoughts within my mind

Mixed signals make me hesitate
My mind begins to adumbrate
It slowly starts to advocate

There can be no quest to the truth we zest
When the path is filled and about to crest
with an ebbing tide of aggravation
instead of simple adaptation

We need to speak the things we think
And find the time to be in sync
A simple thing you ask of me
But intentions are my grand oak tree

It seems you seek an answer true
To that question clear in site
So ask it now you have the right
I will answer it with all my might
Ignoring fear that you take flight

My soul can clearly separate
the what is now and what can be
For it can surely acclimate
to whatever future is the key

I hope we can put this aside
and face the future with a pride
For what you decide will not be
An end of what you mean to me
For I believe that I can see
A part of you I never knew
A part of you that's just for me

Inside the walls that I have built
Emotions patched just like a quilt
The first time in my life anew
All things just seem to be askew

I've broken down the walls within
So something new can soon begin
The dam has broke no going back
It would not be the proper track

I cannot read your mind you know
A sign is what i really need
So I can show that side of me

My soul caught in a pantomime
Resulting in a double prime

Reach out and hold it
Even if you don't really know if

When a touch turns to so reeling
It results in a feeling
Not wraught with some meaning

And you wonder inside you
If the person beside you
Was feeling the same as you did

When touch turned to lightning
Just a litte bit frightning
A strong current was flowing
And the laws of attraction
Have taken a hold

you both just don't see it
but the universive means it

An earth shatting feeling
You're soul starts revealing
With no resistance to slow it
Your deep inner secrets
To the soul thats beside you
In a way so magnetic
You won't ever forget it
And wouldn't let go if you could

You know deep inside you pure
Energy transferred that moment
Your bodies had touched
With no explaination
And a flash of elation
You know you can actually
feel love

You want me to be invisible

So you can feel invincible.

My heart lays out upon my sleeve
Because it’s just a part of me
You like to push it thru a sieve
To fill some kind of inner need.

I've let you do this thing to me
To fill some kind of inner need.
But I have changed and really see
that tearing down the inner walls
Is the path to find true peace

And those of you that like to see
That easily manipulated side of me
I will tell you now for I can see
That I am the fool to fall again
So you can fill you're inner need.

I will not be invisible,
It makes me feel susceptible
To souls that shine a darker light
And make you feel so lost at night.

Driven by that inner need
To find the one that's meant for me
My soul cries out for all to hear
Won't someone else just notice me?
For whom I am, not what they need.

Kinda of cool with headphones

reminds me of earth songs

http://www.spaceweather.com/glossary/inspire.html

if you listen to them natural with a vlf reciever
you get a natural mix of sferics, tweeks and whislers.

the sounds are averaged and plotted with a Sid Reciever
to monitor solar flares, earth magnetics, and the northern lights.

your true feelings have long since survived
the curiosity inside you thats you have always denied
and the love thats inside you has no place to go

for the years of suppression have taken a toll
And the people around you would most likely leave
if the truth that's inside did finally show
that the past misread signals have broken the path
to the freedom of love thats just meant to last
without any strings or notions attached

You know that denial is no longer the path to the
to the freedom of living so true to oneself that
the fear that abounds you would soon disappear
If the truth that's inside you could come to light
so that happiness fills you with warmth in the night

The friends that surround you may already suspect
that the yearning inside you just wants to come clean
With the truth of a soul thats wrought in confusion
between the fear of the truth and a need for solution