Dear silly boy..
I've heard a million apologies from you. I've seen a few tears. I've heard a thousand dial tons. I've listened to a hundred doors slam in front of me. And each time... I put up with it. I let it go because my love for you was real. When I was with you, I never wanted to leave. And when I wasn't, I wanted to be. But I guess that wasn't enough for you.. I realize we make mistaks. I realize second chances are often given. And I know that you're sorry, but I also know that some mistakes don't have to be made. Second chances should only be given if you deserve them. And sorry won't fix all the pain you have caused... So where does this leave us? A question I've been asking myself for the longest time.. up until now... It leaves us in two seperate places, Worlds apart and hands that aren't together. I tried to forgive you, I though I could do it. But the truth is I can't. And for that, I'm anything but sorry. I placed my heart in your hands trusting that is where it would stay and you let me down. And the saddest part about all of this is that we lost more than we ever had in the first place. We went from being strangers, to friends. And from there, best friends to lovers, and now... I could call us nothing... but that would be a lie. Because as much as I avoid seeing your face, answering your calls or listening to your bull****, there will always be something in my heart for you... No matter how hard I try to hide it, I love you.. I loved the person I thought you were. The person you pretended to be. The guy who did everything in his power to make me smile. With those 3 simple words, you made me believe anything. But.. throughout this experience, I've learnt one thing. Love doesn't solve problems. Love won't make things better. And when it comes to you and I... love just isn't enough. Because although you claim you love me and you can't live without me, she still existed. I would ask was it worth it, If you would do it over again, would you?.. Why did you do it?, and how did it happen?.. But.. I realized those answers would mean nothing to me. The reality is, it still happened. And we're still here; in this awkward placement that some would judge it as being "over" but.. I just title it " something that never really started". So I guess my last question to you is, didn't you realize how much I loved you? And don't be bothered by finding the big words to impress me, or the sad faces that prove to me you're sorry. Don't bother saying anything at all. Because babe, there is no right answer anymore. And there is nothing you can say to make it all better. |
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