A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

I don't think what he said was funny but the fact that he did.
Even still... lighten up. you don't like it, ignore it.
Everyone doesn't have the same sense of humor and not everyone takes this stuff so serious.
It's suppose to be fun right?

omg... that's hilarious... heheh

and when she said, I would never be alone
I knew I couldn't be afraid to stay again
today I leave my thoughts of hopelessness
I walk away from helpless, lonely, emptiness
my heart was torn but now it's filled with light
the bright eyed beauty brought me back
once again, I save the strength to keep my life

- idolpx
2006.11.22

sweet! :) tnx! hehehe...

You did? I didn't feel a thing!

Maybe something like this? :]

What I'm looking for? If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this. "Handsome, cultured, intellectual with a big **** and marathon tongue seeks beautiful sexy woman in long-term committed relationship for purposes of making boyfriend/husband insanely jealous. For purposes of securing cash, luxury vehicle, new home in prestige area or beach front property. Multi-Orgasm training included at no charge."

Bad boy act? hehe... I don't know what you mean but ok. :)

I was smiling! Grrrrr... that's how I smile! :P

What if I push them together?
I could do low-lights and blonde and red chunks.
That would be sexy right?
Maybe a reverse mowhawk and a soul patch?

Good answers.
+1 for intelligence

Anyone want to try for the harder ones?

oh right. :) This forums is great.
Just discovered it.

hehe... what's a parody?

Are my boobs showing? Should I go blonde?
What can I do to make my profile better?

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have got a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box it's a tiger."
He decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in, and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble all of these pieces into
anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax."
"Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then" ..... He sighed..
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.

Cowboy: "Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian.)

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian.)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep lie."

Tried a swift kick? :) Check your email.

You could use Audacity to break it up into tracks once it's converted to a wav or mp3 file. It may work with flac files too. Not sure cause I haven't used it with one.

http://sourceforge.net/projects/audacity/

Here's the link to your audio drivers.

http://downloads.emachines.com/drivers/audio/AC97_5.10.0.3910.zip

Extract that file to a folder on your desktop and run the setup.
It should reinstall everything for you.

Other drivers for you system are at this page.

http://www.emachines.com/support/product_support.html?cat=Desktops&subcat=T-Series&model=T2085

Try that and let us know how it goes. :)

What's the make and model of your computer?
Is there a service tag number or serial number of some type on it?
Is it a notebook or desktop system?