I live with chronic pain. Over time that feeling of "I must bed the ONLY one who feels this bad" goes away. The pain doesnt though. Everyone is different. "Trying the pill bit" might not be the best advice. I've run the gamut on pills and pain meds. My last resort was to go to methadone and I said absolutely not. NO way is a doctor going to make me a legal drug addict. So I have basically been calming the pain down at least a bit, with an antidepressant. I will be going back on a pain patch for a few months but I can only do that about every 5 years for about a year.

Chronic pain (mine is fibromyalgia) feels (to me) like it hurts for the blood to course through my body.

Gee! Is that how it works? I've never done that. But now that you mention it my ex is the one who played that game. He was an expert at it. Hence the reason he's my ex.

I don't think it should ever be all one persons decision or the others, it should be mutual.