i would give anythng to see through his eyes
because mine are black and blue
disorented and confused from crying

i would give anything to be where he is
and to be his little princess
and see him face to face

i would give anything to let him take me away
and help me get through another day
if only he was here with me

gaurdian angel takes me away
fly on wings full of sorrows from yesterday
into the dawn of grey
we'll make today our day
as we fly on painting the grey skies gold
as i grow strong and bold
and confident again


i am heartless because i refuse to cry

look in the mirror and what do i see?
you in the shadows
reaching out to me
like you were trying to hold
on to the memories of me
of having me near
or having me care
i turn aound an your not there
im not surprised you never cared

walk into my room
everything is dark
i lay in my bed
thoughts of you stil in my head
reach out and touch
where you once laid
and i know onther sleepless night is ahead

the unconcious state that takes hold everynight
has me not fully asleep
not fully awake
i see you emerge from the shadows
you reach out and pull me near
you whisper so sweetly in my ear
"baby i wanted to destroy something beautiful,
i wanted to destroy you"

then you lt me fall
left me alone to crawl
and try to find my way back home

the alarm starts ringing
its 6am
time to start all over again
another day with out you

i look into the mirror and what do i see
you in the shadows
forever haunting me

im all alone in the middle of this empty of this empty street
i try so hard to stand my ground
but as always the wind knocks me down
now im staring into this puddle
and my reflection is so clear
i see the beast ive become
im no longer this littlle girl
then the darkness surrounds me
and carries me high into the air
i open my eyes to take in the sight
and i see my family gathered
their all in black
they walk forward one by one
to my casket
they whisper to theirselves
look whats bcome of her
could we have done more to help her?
from my perch high in the sky i look
and try to see who in ther casket lies
i jump back in horror when i realize
its me

I want to become a better person but day by day my heart literally harderns, never understood how someone can be so cold until recently. FTW

sing me sweet lulibies of your goodbyes

no loner tempting me with your lies

saying goodbye to your angelic face

with your smile distorted and out of place

no longer blinded by a frabricated dream

just left with the feeliing i need to

****ing screAm

your twisted love filled me up, made me

feel sane

now im going insane because sanity is my

insanity

its so hard to walk way fom everything

you made me

living in a false reality nothing fazed me

now im faced with the awful truth

you had my soul to give and i had

everything to lose


i trusted you, put all my faith in you

and you let me fall all the way down

fading in and out, sprailing out of control

reaching out blindly desprately trying to

grab hold

of the you i tried so hard to know

but your hand was like water

when i grabbed hold you slipped right

through my hands

and drowned me with your insecuritys

gave me responsiblity for everything you

hated in you

when all i wanted was to mean something

to you

sometimes i don't even know why i try things get heavy and i want to cry but i'd rather die then show all these things i feel inside my heart is broken my spirit is weak my pride was taken and now all thats left is this empty shell with a beautiful smile that stays glued to this face cause i'd rather pretend everythings okay and keep you blinded with my poker face i think of my wrongs more then my rights and every ****in night the demons come and take more and more of my soul away i'm haunted by this darkness i'm sacred at night and all i'm trying to do is make everything right but pressure comes in and i lose sight now i'm blind fallen and calling for help surrounded by this pain looking forward to a day when i can wake up and know i'm okay

can i just lay
safe from fear
your arms are my sanctuary
your love is my heart
here next to you i feel strong
here with you nothing is wrong
i want to be there
i want to hold you near

words are everything I need an if people dont like em **** off an dont read em but I'll say what i wanna say

huh?

Didi you feel my heartbeat?
A steady rythm, beating to a drum beyond our control.
bu-ump bu-ump two counts off,
Funny, why should my heart be moving a fraction of a second slow?
If you look into my eyes do you really think you'll be able to see me?
I'm lost unfoucused, getting higher,
as the smoke rolls out from behind my tounge,
billowinginto the air surrounding my face,
the fogs so thick you need a map to navigate your way out the clouds,
otherwise you're likely to get stuck for days.
Do you see a change in me?
Didyou feel when it's icy grip took hold?
Numbing the senses, peeling away at the pain,
untilits all completely taken away replaced with uncertainty,
The empty shell of a human soul.
But still I'll reach for pipe exhaling,
letting the smoke cloud my mind
still im running from the darkest parts i'm to scared to find
**** the world from dirt I came to dirt I go

Inticapation mixed with nervers,
so near I can almost touch it,
yet far enough away I still cant even be sure its real.
It must be a mirage, an illusion of the former love,
that your took molded and created my fear.
In this illiusuon there's something new,
there's something there making me so scared,
to just lose myself completly in you.
I know you can feel it to.
Maybe for right now our defenses will be what makes up defenseless
maybe for right now what I'm doing is just a little to brand new,
maybe for right now i want to keep you, you,
not to confuse with him, the sadistict mastermind who set me on my path to you,
maybe I'm to scared he'll be just another you.

from the heart

Do you ever feel me?
Do you ever look deep down inside?
Living a life that leaves me paralyzed,
Do you ever feel the pain you left me with?
Do you face the struggle I deal with daily,
just trying to survive?
The pain I felt when you were ripped away,
The fear i felt when I put myself down,
Just so 4years you wouldn't be gone away.
Can you imagean how it all felt,
How it felt when it came crashing down,
When I figured it all out.
Such a fool!
I let myself become a tool.
Every emotion I felt was so genuwine,
The love I feltin my heart,
Everytime I looked in your eyes.
I felt like I was seeing my heart.
You came in my life and tore me away from everything,Everything I hade made for myself,
And I just stood there,
and watched,
as
it
all
slowly
fell
to
hell
you even made sure I had the chance to wave goodbye as the very last bit of what I had once know as my life fall into the gutter.

**** YOU & YOU CAN TAKE YOUR LOVE, I have nothing but hate