Community > Posts By > Geminifla

 
Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 09:35 PM

That's what works and is right for me.

and... Isn't that what is really important?


Yes it is. Throughout our life, we are constantly focused with making choices/decisions. What process we use in making those decisions is a huge part of not just what defines us but the direction our life takes. I have asked and heard other people ask why did you do what and when someone says "I don't know" which surprisingly is an all too common answer. It's not really true, because people know what they were thinking when a choice/decision comes up, it could be either they don't want to acknowledge or just felt like they think they reacted with no conscious thought, which is factually not possible. I know why I do that I do and why I did what I did, whether I had thought it out at the time. In realizing this, it's made a tremendous difference in my life. It sounds so simple and so basic, but honestly it does involve a focused effort.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 09:23 PM


Two things occur to me, not sure which you need.
http://cpn.mingle2.com/topic/participated_in/32983182
This is under the Heading above as 'My Topics.'

Also you can click on the number beneath any picture on
the forums to see their history back to when they started.
http://cpn.mingle2.com/forum/show_posts_by_user/32983182

Thanks for your help! I'll check into this in the morning first thing.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 09:15 PM


I've finally got some time to dedicate to that someone again.
But any big distance from Belfast,TBH, unless it was wedding bells at 1st sight.
Yes: meeting that soul mate,who you can't keep your hands off. Is everyones ultimate destination. But...... Taking the time to meet, flirt and mutually benefit from a well deserved confidence boost, and enjoying a good bloody laugh together, surely isn't outside normality either?



Look, here's my input. Your expectations are so unrealistic it's hard to know where to start.

Finally have some time...so that means that while you've been recently involved, it failed and you say it in such a way that it appears that either the reason it failed is that it wasn't that much of a priority and that someone who had your attention you feel like would be doing her a favor. (NOT good, narcistic...)

Weddding bells at first sight, DUDE seriously, you need to throw out all your Disney DVDS, and get a grip on reality. Honestly.

The best thing about your profile is that it is so obvious. Not to YOU, but to everyone else. I don't mean to offend, really, just hoping to make an impact for some self reflection, honestly don't think there's a chance but I can hope.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 09:02 PM

I thought I would start this topic because I feel there are a lot of us out there that could do with a nudge on how to text to woman AND men correctly. First off i'm not perfect by far trust me and my biggest fault would have to be that i'm not the worlds greatest speller wrrite (see).....lol.

So to set the ball rolling I believe the three golden rules are:
1 Be yourself.
2 Be honest.
3 Be truthful.

This is just something to chat about in no way would I criticize anyone but am always open for suggestions. So please feel free to comment thank you.



2 and 3 are redundant, just saying. The Golden Rule, actually is to treat others the way you want to be treated which covers all 3.

IMO, I think number 1 is the most difficult for the majority. It is a fact, that most people either don't know themselves, accept themselves or even like, forget love themselves. And you can't give someone else what you don't have, so if you haven't learned to love yourself you don't have that to give to someone else. This is basic, if you're in doubt, visit a bookstore and go to self help and scan the titles. In my experience, it is rare that I encounter those who are self aware, and when I do I invest myself in their friendship, the rewards are invaluable.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 08:52 PM
Ehh...this is one of my hot buttons, honestly. I spent/wasted SO much of my life looking for my keys, purse, cell phone...blah blah. One of the best things about where I live now is I found this great thing by the door, it has several hooks. I lived here a while then realized, oh crap I could hang my keys on this! One big problem solved I have so much more free time.

One of the rare (admitted) times I actually think there's someone I may want to interact with and either ask or get asked, this is very revealing. You have to be on your toes, while someone may say what they want (if they actually read your profile), having some conversation, in my own experience usually ends up with a hang up phone call.

I consider myself very fortunate in that I know very specifically what I want and have had that (and more) so until and if I have that again, I'll keep moving on down the road (insert reference to The Wiz).

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 08:31 PM

Hi All, Just joined site and wondering what is the best way to search for matches that are Christians?

Thanks for your help?


Honestly, I wish I had a simple straightforward answer to that. I'll do my best to speak from not only mine, but the combined experiences from those I've known who are looking for the same.

First off, "Christian" is a label, IE something people say about themselves in order to fit into or appear to belong to a group. They do so for any variety of reasons, and, in the name of trying to be positive yet realistic, my personal experience is that many who do are not for the best of reasons.

Most of us were raised and taught to take people at the word and "give them the benefit of the doubt". I was, and through experience learned while that sounds good, perhaps, it is not wise IMO.

One of the pitfalls of dating, online or not, is that to truly get to KNOW someone involves an investment of time and other resources, seeing someone in all types of different situations, how they react and how they interact and treat other people.

The biggest pitfall of online, is that many depend on getting to know someone is relying on what they say about themselves, through text, email, phone, IE. So those who are adept at "hooking" someone through slick talk, the ability to focus on what someone wants to hear, etc. One of the biggest mistakes is ignoring gut feelings and red flags or even worse, not knowing what red flags are.

All that said, one of the repeated advice I often give (and is the most ignored) is to give time and be aware to match up with what someone says and what they do/how they act. The objections to that is it is great to hear those sweet words, compliments and be "swept off your feet", but sadly those stories don't often end well.

So be alert, don't ignore any gut feelings, and pay attention to your comfort level and have a very clear, defined vision of who you want and how that person should behave and treat you. NO EXCEPTIONS!!

I hope this has helped.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 08:10 PM
Just curious, but is there a feature/way to track your posts on the forums? Thanks in advance for any help.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 08:08 PM
Does this site have a "Friends" feature? If so, where?

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 08:05 PM

Last I heard, the people who believe in sin, do think that sex outside of marriage is one.

Each to their own.


Hello my good friend! Yes you're right (as usual). For me, it's more about belief in sin, it's about belief and trust in God's word and my personal relationship with my heavenly Father. Sin is only one aspect of that, there is so much more than that IMO. My faith defines me and living in obedience is important. Am I absolutely faithful, sinless?? Of course not, however learning about and practicing forgiveness from God and with others I honestly feel has made me a better human being. That's what works and is right for me.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 07:54 PM

Is it possible?

No offense, but it does not appear to be an actually serious question. If you did not believe it's possible, what are you doing here? Also, another admitted assumption is if you ask that, it could make one wonder whether you understand what's involved in a committed relationship and have you put forth the effort not to just get into one but to maintain one. Just saying...it is a topic so don't think I'm speaking directly to you.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 07:46 PM

I need help talking to woman about anything. More important is getting them to respond back in a positive way.

Wowsers, if someone could tell you that....they'd be on the top of the best seller list.

Women, like men, are all individuals and it's not just what you say, but how you say it, body language, comfort level, the factors are many. My suggestion is try to get more comfortable talking to women generally that you are NOT interested in dating. How most men start off or approach, if the woman feels like he just wants to date you, or something else (UGH) and her interest is NOT mutual, chances she'll blow you off or worse.

Check your expectations, you want to know how to talk to woman (women?) and having them respond in a positive way is totally unrealistic. Please understand I'm not at all looking to offend you or anyone else, just trying to give some realistic insight.

Geminifla's photo
Fri 05/17/19 07:34 PM
Edited by Geminifla on Fri 05/17/19 07:36 PM
I have two suggestions: 1 you can go with a common interest, a hobby, pets, etc. 2 tell someone what you found interesting about their profile. The key to me is to start a conversation, which is an art, so neither myself or anyone else can tell you HOW to do it exactly.

I've gotten a lot of emails like great profile, or you're funny, or...whatever. How do you respond to that? Well for me, usually I don't. I've had a profile on another site where I wrote several profiles (I only posted ONE at a time) but switched them out. My most popular had the headline "Insanity in a Spray Bottle", another was "Girlfriend Stunt Double". Obviously, they were humorous, but the one that was "Top 20 Reasons I'm Not the Woman for You" actually was TRUE, that is, it was making fun of my quirks.

Profiles, IMO, serve as a sort of icebreaker so the more you invest to try to make your profile stand out, the more your chances of getting contacted. You may see me in profile review, I love to help, but honestly it does get tiring after awhile.

Okay now that I've strayed off topic a bit, I think to entice someone's initial interest, if you can start some conversation that's usually a winner.

Oh sorry, forgot to add the most important thing - DO READ THE OTHER PERSON'S PROFILE. I can almost guarantee it will kill any potential interest if you ask someone a question that's already on their profile. I know this seems so obvious, but honestly it is NOT!!