whats a blunt?

I got grape swishers

mmm, minty when it comes back up

I don't need beer for that... I just shaved for the heck of it

and yes it's in my profile

Yes

???

Good night bro

Ooh, you speak french?

Your a sexy b*tch lol

and no.... not me

I am assuming you talked her into another girl... if she said she wanted a nother guy and you, ??? Just curious

hey I was gonna say that

I hear Ferraris work

Well brother, 37 isn't old... If you gave in and shaved and cut your hair shorter (I know it took forever) you would look at least 10 years younger.

Hmm,this is sick, but "if there grass on the field, play ball"

I know that was wrong, sorry

weird can be kinky.. unless it's the other weird, then screw it... I don't know what i'm talking about.... Tinas right, your young ... go fer it, if it doesn't work out, ... next

go fer it... just don't give her any free coffee

Sorry Tina, I am growing out of my cocoon I have three more really bad ones, just to prep everybody

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their *ss to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*ck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No d*ck nose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the ****ing ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know *sshole, you f*cking pulled me over.

When people say "Life is short." What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What? Are they going to f*cking do something that's longer?

When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here *sshole!

Just a penny...