goodnight everyone...i am going to bed

single....

mirror:


I look in the mirror and dont recognize who i see
Im trying so hard to figure out who i need to be
I lay lifeless in a strangers bed
All i feel is cold and dead
I will never find what i once had
Never thought it would be this bad
I just want to be held
I dont want to be just "nailed"
Sex isnt everything thats what ive learned
Love is what i long for its what ive earned
All the things i want i cant have
I cant and will never have it all
Just feels like im walking down an endless hall
Will i ever find someone like him
These thoughts make it seem like there is no hope
How will i ever learn to cope
Writing is the only way
To see a brighter day
Through the cloud that follows me
I can finally see clearly

Why not me?

Looking into the unknown confused
Standing alone feeling so used
You give all your love with nothing in return
But your heart feels hurt like a burn
Rejection is not very fun when it comes around
I think ive lost all sight and all sound
I thought you loved me thats what you said
or was that the voices i heard in my head
I cant stand it anymore
Id rather lie lifeless on the floor
Without you near me
I cannot see clearly
I hope you figure out what you wanna do
Because i found who i am in you
So please dont make me walk this road alone
I would rather not hear her voice on the phone
You were there when i needed you most
I wish we could just head for the coast
But you have made me see
Life isnt that easy
So i hope one day you will finally see
That you always shouldve been with me

Fallen Angel:




when you fall you need to stand
and dont try to fall where you once did land
because it hurts the further you fall
it feels as if you been slammed against a wall
i would know ive been there before
the day you came to knock on my door
but you couldnt do it you just stood there
afraid of so many things like who and where
ive been many places have knocked me down
hard as it is i hit the ground
i continue to fall no matter what
i know whta i must do but
what i want and what i need have nothing in common
and when i climb and feel ive finally won
you kick me down to fall again
breaking my own wings i feel pain
im a fallen angel from the stormy skies
the kind i see when i look into your eyes
but you dont know who i am
but you just keep going after whats her name sam?
oh well i just cant sit here all alone
until the light to me is shone
because im a fallen angel capable of lies
and now thats all i see when i look in your eyes


Breath:


i look up and there
you are you always were
but i was blind
and now your back in my life
and i can finally put down the knife
becasue baby you save me
and youre the only one who can show me
that love is real
and that your the only thing i can feel
i love you and its finally true
no one knows us
its better to keep it that way
you keep me together
so i no longer grasp for whats not there
you came and picked me up
now i can breath

The faithful night:

she thinks about what she did that night
she blinks back the tears as she holds his necklace tight
she tries so hard to get it out of her head
she regrets what she did and what she said
and as he walks out the door
she knows in the back of her mind theres more
he always said he be there for her
he was her superman or he wish he were
his face flashes in her mind
this isnt like her he isnt her kind
but she longs for him who isnt the one
the guilt she has weighs a ton
she says she has to get some sleep
turns over and with a silent weep
takes the knife to her skin
thinking ill never win
whats the use anyway
finally she sees the light of day
with bleeding eyes
she looks to the bleeding skies
she decides to fight
nothing happened that night
just a lost and broken memory
this she hopes he never will see
so to get out she listens to the radio
saying i hope no one will find out no one will know
its so ****ed up that she hurt herself
she cant mistake as she puts those feeling on a shelf
she walks away and says no more
and when he reads this hell say what for
but he wont know because shell be on the floor
Lifeless, dead and bleeding from the core


Two little love birds:

when ties get crossed
everything is lost
The whole world spins
nobody wins
because they got caught
see each other alot
but one night
we couldnt;we lost sight
now hes gone
she doesnt know how long
but she knows he is in her heart
even though her whole world is torn apart
shell keep fighting this dumb thing
through all the silence shell feel a sting
her trust was broken
it was a token
of her love and now he is gone
worse she could of done
but hell hold on to every memory
every kiss every touch all hell ever see
as she takes the necklace off
the woman stands alone and with a scoff
says shell never see him again
in the distance shell feel the pain
she looks back wondering if hes okay
so angry she wont see him everyday
and as the last last tear rolls down her cheek
she regrets what she said that week
looking back he lets out a sigh
as he lights one up not knowing she standing right by
they yell they scream but its no use
shes so afraid after all the abuse

She was young:

Sometimes life just fades away

But you just hope there is a better day

Life flashes by you like lightning

It so hard to fly when you got a broken wing

And the tears fall down and don't impede

You try but it's so hard to do a good deed

You turn around and your mom cries

Your heart your soul falls to the ground and dies

You fight and try make everything well

Hoping nobody will know and no one will tell

But all hope is gone and all that is left

Faith, although is blind helps you see

Who you are and what you can be

Helps you turn around

Finally you can hear the sound

The bells they sound like a familiar chime

He puts out his hand saying its time

And as she walks she cries

Everybody whispers and sighs

She falls to the ground

All the sudden she is bound

She can't break free of what's holding her back

Then he comes by with all the things she could lack

Puts out his hand and says I can save you

Ill give you everything, I love you

you should kiss it and make it better

preaching?

i believe it does....

wondering what i will say next

i need to change my life, plus im tired ....emotionally, physically, and mentally

smooth!!!shhh i think he is on to us lol

laughing at his own joke

im totally crushin on kc a.k.a. kevin....but he lives too far away lol

awww your sweet thanks

going to the store to get some anti-age cream

^^ he he yeppers lol

maybe you should

looking in the mirror wondering where his life went

im totally crushin on irisheyes but i dont think he knows lol

im hoping i have fun on my bday next weekend, 21 baby hell yea!!!