Thank you:) It's nice to be appreciated.
Bill

The cost of inattentiveness and the belief in second chances.


All my little plans and schemes lost like forgotten blissful dreams.
Cares wisp by on painted clouds brushed by elaborate winds.
So drudge along ol' gospel cloud and carry with you long passed sins.

I stand tall and proud once again.
You lifted me up to dare to live, to dream, to win.
You grasped my hand, I held it tight.
In your grasp I felt forgiveness, all is right.

Snuggled close we are as one.
I am as close to heaven as anyone.
No longer feeling afraid and alone you’re hope’s sanctuary and love’s home.

You’re the reason each day I wake, to offer again my heart, my soul to take.
It's real love, it's real I exclaim! Yes, it's real love, it's real I say, as I continually pinch away.

It’s knowing with out knowing. It’s taking that leap of faith. It’s being so full of love that there is no room for hate.
If life be the sun then you are a ray.
Disbelief is the gauge from which I must judge this glorious, glorious , glorious day.

Thanks:)

Thank you, I appreciate the comment.
Bill

As gently as the Irish dew caresses the morning blade,my kiss settles upon thy lips and my hand affirms thy breast.
Oh how a smile does broaden across an ever-widening face.
My spire excites, when ever your kiss doeth grace.
I flow o’er you, like a warm summer’s breeze flowing over a cool Irish glade, as gentle kisses of air excite each pleasured blade.
Lasting still, impressions in remembrance from where our lips hath lain.
Our tenderness honest and true, binds us in rapture.
Eager to set aside our aches and pains, worries and woes.
You complete me and lift my spirit, my heart, my soul.
When fears reminisce, they give rise to memories long since thought vanquished.
Like dragons of old, as yet un-slain, they return to threaten our love.
Gloom gathers upon distant horizons.
Then as an antidote we become as one and all are laid to waste in love’s sweet eclipse.
I find reason in our love’s ever-embracing grasp, it engulfs my very being.
Your scent is all around me, placental in it‘s bliss.
Our hearts make haste, There’s a quickening, and ecstasy abounds in each loving and gasping embrace, each touch, each taste, each pleasuring sighing ache!
An Irish Angel’s love hath cures for ales yet unseen or known or spoken.For it renews and heals the soul of a man, purifying him from within.
When an Irish Angel bestows her love, a man can make himself anew.
For you are the Irish Angel that I lust for, thou should know this promise to be true…
You have my heart! You have my love! You are my soul!

Thanks, I appreciate it

Know my name

Have you ever looked to the heavens in wonder?
Have you looked at the surface of a sea and wondered what’s under?
Can you behold a sunset and feel its glory?
Can you gaze upon a mountain and sense it's story?
Can you name the seven wonders?
Do you count you and I among them?
Is your heart still pure of thought?
Are your thoughts still pure of heart?
Can you still be touched when no one is near?
Can you still live and love and without fear?
Can you learn of great things and grow with each one?
Does your body still tremble long after my touching is done?
Can you cast away all doubts and cares?
Do you reach for me at night, even when I'm not there?
And if God should call me home would life be just to much to bare?
Is there still a passion that burns deep from within?
For life, love and happiness and to be my best friend.
Does your heart beat strong, dear and tender?
Can you look into the heart of this lion and see only the spleder?
Do you get that old feeling whenever I’m near?
Are you honest enough to cry salty tears?
Can you reach deep within, time and time again?
Can you re-touch your soul and know where it's been?
Is your face full of exspression, does your honesty show?
Can you love me with ease and without really tryin?
Till death do us part and were done with the dyin?
Then you’re the love I have searched so long for.
Give me your hand and hold my heart in the palm of it.
Know my name.
My name is LOVE.

You saw in me a masterpiece
In need of dusting off.
From this moment on I know
exactly where my life will go.

I am rebound in your love.
From this day forward until we are done.
I am your Earth and you are my Sun.
I thought I'd been in love before
But in my heart, I wanted more.
I was lost in an unknowing land
You ventured in, you took my hand

I gave it trembling and willingly.
You accepted most gently and tenderly.
Its about acceptance and forgiveness.
It’s a deepness of affection.
It’s a soulful resurrection.

The past is past but not forgotten
It dwells deep within us still
Coveted as a warning
We’ve atoned for all unknowing sins

Strong and determined now is our will.
With you I take on new stature
you rescued me from uncertainty
A step ahead nor behind but
aside knowingly, this is maturity.

Memories haunt no longer
There’s no need to feel afraid
The nothing withdrawals,
the voids fulfilled.

I was wanting.
All my life I was waiting just for you.
I was beginning to give up hope, larger the doubts they grew.
Then you came into my life.
Now with each passing day we shall write history anew.
Until when, my pixie sprite, life bids us that fond adieu.

Thank you:)

Thanks:)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Untouchable by hands.
Tangible spirits must seek.
I dream of a place in the sky.
Just out of my reach.

A place where all suffering, despair and horror are left far behind.
A place where the healing can begin and therein exists no time.
And all that exists is born from hope and sweet love.

Far above and way beyond all fear and all hate,
Where love is a misty breeze upon my skin.
In a moment all is forgiven and given to each a clean slate.

A place where no lives of quiet desperation can ever take place.

Happiness abounds.
It is a dream of heaven.
And of being in your loving arms,

Embraced.

Look to the west old friend.
To where the sun’s majestic beauty sets o’er the California hills and ocean.
There, in those final flickerings,
where the long shadow’s castings end.
In repose, I take my final bow.
It is there in God’s final se’sur, blissfully you shall find me.
Nestled in the truest of all expressions, a smile.



I wrote this the day that he passed away.

Sports, Why can't we win the big game(s)

Girls 12 and under
This is a story about blind faith and belief in something that you know exists, but cannot touch, taste or see, but rather only feel.

Years ago, my daughter (Sarah) had the good fortune to be recruited to play for a traveling softball team. She had played softball from the age of six to present and had played on the eight and under team at age seven. Then, for two years, she played on the ten and under team, at age eight and nine. She had enjoyed great success, as her team had both talent and balance and earned invitations to “A” tournaments, and placing high at the finish. Both coaches and parents were “proud! Proud that these girls did so well at the “ club “ level. Each year had shown steady improvement. We felt that we were seeing the building of a future championship team.
Then it was on to the twelve and under bracket. There were obvious physiological changes that the team was going through, as well as, personality conflicts. I had seen it before in other child athletes. The so-called “ gawky stage”. Both internal and external forces began to have an impact on the team. Growth spurts had an impact on their consistency. This time the girls played, at times as well, but overall not as well as they had in the past. Something was missing. This prompted a screaming tirade from the coaches, whom had expectations of winning, and a lot of finger pointing from the parents, as well. We were un-accustomed to failure. I however, tried to not let my emotions push me into a knee jerk reaction. I realized that there were points being made from all sides. Perhaps rightly so, perhaps not. As my Father had once told me, “ Son, there are two, or more, sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in-between “. He also said, among his many jewels of wisdom, that "when you are tempted to react swiftly to something that you hear, that is of an outrageous or inflammatory nature STOP! Take a deep breath. "Take some time to wait for all the facts to come out before going off half uh, well you know. Usually you will find that what you had heard in the first instance was not the entire truth. So you will have saved yourself the embarrassment and a possible apology later by not commenting to early on.
Our team had lost their Physical, mental and emotional balance. They had ceased being a team. Whereas, before we had balanced the focus between seeing the sites and enjoying the swimming pool, with hard work in practices and play at away tournaments. Never losing focus on the “how and why” we were there and yet still managing to enjoy the experience and have fun playing the game of softball.Traveling from State to State affords these girls a great opportunity to explore and enjoy themselves. It, as well, should have taught them self-discipline, as they are all reminded that “ at all times “ they are ambassadors for their communities and sport. This is all a part of the experience that is club sports. It all adds to the growth of the athletes, both in body, mind and spirit.
However, I noticed the girls were beginning to form cliques and following their parents in their comfort zones as well. It began to take on the look of a group of individuals, as opposed to” a team “.We still made a, ““well enough“, effort to be invited to tournaments, all be it, the “B” tournaments.We went to Chicago, Indiana, Michigan, Iowa and Wisconsin, tourneys, but we did not fare well there, at all. Finally the coaches had it out with the parents and threatened to quit! One of the coaches asked each of us, individually, if we wanted to coach the team. I convinced them to reconsider quitting and hold a meeting at seasons end and ask for our “ positive “ input. They did and many points were discussed, at that time.Some of the highlights were; that we (the parents) allowed our girls to leave their game in the hotel swimming pool the night before (lack of discipline). That, the coaches yelled at them far too much. That we did not do enough together as a team (to promote harmony). That even though a girl may have blown off a practice or two for highly personal reasons, she should still start, because, after all, her parents paid money for her to play and not sit the bench (poor work ethic). That everyone went their separate ways, so much so, that it led to angst and confusion among the team members and parents.I think that it went much deeper than that and I relayed these thoughts to one of the coaches. She asked me if I would share those thoughts by writing something for her that she could hand out later. That afternoon I sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings in a letter and hand delivered it to our coaches that very same afternoon.
I thought back to some of the teams that I was so very privileged to have watched over the years. The UCLA Bruins basketball team (the John Wooden years) The Lakers championship team 1972 (Wilt Chamberlain era), The Chicago Bulls (Phil Jackson/Michael Jordan era) and of course my old high school football team The Carson Colts (the Eugene Vollnogle years). My high school has ten football championships. Nineteen visits to the championship game and most all the California State titles and records, (see Carson Colts, Carson, California). Nine of those titles were achieved under one head coach! Eugene Vollnogle. Who, upon retiring from High School football, went on to win two college football championships (in just three years) at El Camino college, before finally fully retiring? What made them such great teams? What sustained that greatness throughout those years? This was that letter…..

Sports :Why can't we win the big game(s)? Girls 12 and under
I have been a fan of sports for as far back as I have memories. The wonderful lessons that can be learned through playing the game(s), whatever they may be, if learned, are tremendous. I don't profess to having an intricate knowledge of all of the finer or technical aspects of these games, (I believe that is why we have coaches/experts), but from what I can see, and from a novice's point of view, I would like to share with you “the reader” some observations that I have had concerning what I see to be common traits that the very best of teams share. I have always viewed it as a privilege and an honor to be able to watch truly gifted athletes perform, through out my life, in whatever endeavor.
However, I, as well, have found it to be of an equal privilege to watch the not so gifted athletes. To watch them struggle and grow both as athletes and as people through sports. As I told one such twelve year old who was dejected after a less than stellar game, " When, at the end of your season, if you can look in the mirror and answer yes to the following questions; Did I give it everything that I had to give, every game for my team? Am I a better person today than I was when I started the season? Did I show good practice habits? Am I a better sportsman (person) today, than I was at the start of the season? Have I improved and learned more about my sport than I knew at the start of the season? Was I an unselfish player and a good ambassador for both my sport and my team? If you can answer yes to those questions, then you are a "winner!” Try to think of the win/loss record as a kind of a team report card. NOT the end all.
It has been my experience that not all participants in sports, gifted or not, get it. The main lesson that I see as, “The metaphor for life” is the game itself. With all that it encompasses, such as pain, politics, parents, cliques, egos, luck, technical skills, rules, opponents, coaches, umpires and playing conditions, equipment, having fun etc. Just as in life, there are positives and negatives, and opportunities and disappointments, as well as, luck good or bad. How we choose to deal with them tells a lot about the kind of character we have, both as an individual and as a team. As Americans we are taught, almost from birth, and in so many ways that there are two kinds of people in the world of sports, winners and losers and not much room in-between. Sometimes we get so caught up in the expectation of winning, and at such an early age, so much so, that it overshadows the learning process. We, as a people, don't give much thought to what can be learned from the losing. In defeat one is afforded the opportunity to learn as well. To rededicate oneself. In the orient it would be called "Emulating the Master or Sensei", in this case one would be emulating the better team(s). One can take something away from one's opponent in every loss that can be used to their advantage in the next contest. Therefore, emerging from adversity a stronger team. So what does this all mean? What is the answer to the poser, why can't we win the big game? The following is, what I believe to be, the reason(s).....

Team sport, whatever the game may be, softball, football, baseball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, whatever, is designed to be insurmountable by any individual or group of individuals. The demands of the game can only be surpassed by a team effort. A team, not of individuals, but of unselfish teammates, who for a short time in their lives, care more about each other than themselves or any of the many distractions that may be happening in their lives at the time. More than who has the latest “Nike” ware or who is the more popular at their school, or any of the more baser petty jealousies that occur, etc."Winning a contest", against a lesser team, does not necessarily mean that you have won “the game“. The challenge is not simply to best your opponents on the other side, but to prevail over the true challenger, the game itself. There is no better feeling than knowing that you have lent yourself to being a part of something larger than yourself, To be a part of a team effort to overcome a challenge much greater than any individual's effort could mount. It forever bonds you with your teammates.
On the other hand, how many times have we been witness to an individual excelling for oneself at the expense of his or her teammates?A good example is the player that always must swing away for the fence, no matter what the situation. The team sacrificed itself for the achievement of an individual’s accolade. I remember one such parent’s comment to me that he had told the coaches “his girl never bunts! She’s a hitter!“ She never sacrificed the entire year. We had two such girls, and parents, on the team that year. Situations occurred where our team should have bunted to advance the runner and she swung away. She struck out and we lost the game. Once in a “GREAT” while she would connect and it seemed that everyone lived for that single moment, but there wasn’t enough of those moments to warrant the many times that she struck out. Sure there were other influences that effected the outcome as well, but those were the ones that stood out as “momentum stoppers”.

Individual accolades can and will come, if deserved, but they must be achieved with in the team concept.

With all the many distractions that a season brings, it seems that the truly great teams remain focused on the game, and aware in all situations. They have a well thought out scheme. They seem to have grasped the fact that the greatest rewards come to those having the greatest desire.The greatest Heart! The desire to be the best, at any cost, even if it means the temporary loss of one's individualism. One does not become dependent, but rather interdependent.Unselfishness, caring about every teammate, so much so, that the very last thing that you would want to have happen is to let your teammates down or have them let you down.Positiveness! To see only the best and to encourage only the best.Character, To know that if a teammate is struggling in some area of development, rather than simply pointing fingers or scoffing, you have done your best to help support and encourage that teammate, so that they cannot be placed in the un-enviable position of letting the team down either.The great teams that I have truly been blessed to have enjoyed over the years all have had these traits and qualities in common.
DO YOU? DO WE?
Thanks,
Bill

PS. When we first started out we were all friends and the girls wanted to play, oh how they wanted to play. Softball was new and exciting to them. There was no way but up for them and it was fun. Then somewhere along the way it became work. It no longer was fresh, new and exciting. I think the best coaches are those that have not only the technical capacity, but also the capability to keep it fresh and new and exciting, and most of all fun!

Thank you,
I wrote that the day after all my suspicion were finally proven true. I was in utter despair. 8 years later we get along better than we did when we were married. Kinda odd what forgiveness can do for the soul.
Bill

The betrayal

Sometimes the worst of our enemies are among the very closest to us.
For they alone know of our true weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
**************************************************



The years pass as if they were days.
Hurtful changes harbored deep within, held there through sadistic years.
Sins hidden from obvious view cultivate, leaving me unnerved and crying silent tears

With the Devil’s gaze upon you I was helpless to detour or appease.
My strength was my weakness, my trust and belief my downfall.
Our love is lost in anxious years, my despair will not aleve.

As yet unproven sacrilege in droves the cursed ones did come.
The sanctity of our home did not deter.
To the altar of lust you claimed your knees,
be it friend or be it enemy.
With fortitude! You were most eager to please.

You grew emboldened in your pace.
Ever pursuing, as if in a race.
Obviousness surpassed my denial, finally to see truth’s horrid face.

With nothing held sacred, you whored.
Not even a mother’s virtue was left unslain.
Our children were sacrificed upon your altar of lust, God bless them for what they bore witness to, your motherly Veil uplifted and stained.

No longer whence we met did I see love’s shimmer upon your face.
That anticipatic glance, that unerring look, replaced with utter paste.
For the simple act of getting caught, our marriage now accepts its death.

Systemic in its illness, terminal with no cure, our love now must reap it's fate and find it’s final resting place.
Unfaithfulness hath wrought a coffin filled of our hopes and dreams and love trimmed in hateful lace.

Evil, pure evil, was your way. Lie upon lie until you could not hide,
from a persistent truth that was stronger than I.

Laughter heard so aloud.
Drowned out my cries of pain over defiled vows.
Oh how you reveled in my anguish, as if somehow proud.

In almost disbelieving horror I listened as you confessed, to what I knew all along, but yet denied to myself.
I was blinded by love to your deceit, as to the person that you had become. The years, they went passing by, as my heart grew more and more numb.

I feel insane from unrelenting pain.
For these feelings of fear and dread.
If it were not that I loved you so and for the two glorious beings we share. Surely, you’d be dead.

Remember!
Little girls and boys playing with imaginary toys.
Waking up all warm and safe with their innocence stored in faith.
When, Moms and Dads they held us tight.
They taught us love and not to fight.
Where the worlds a sandbox warm and gritty.
Your first true love was …a calico kitty.
Untouched and pure, kind and true.
Where families held together and the parents did too.
Can you remember way back when?
When hearts were not shattered into pieces for sport.
When lives again and again weren’t torn all apart.
Where nothing could put them back together again.
Not all the king's horses and all the king's men.
Can you remember when?

Thank you. I saw this poetry contest on another site. You had to choose from a title and write a poem on the subject. I chose," Tangled in the moment", because the story line came to me imediately upon reading the title. I tend to write, as my mind and heart poor it out of me. This is the result. Took me about 5 minutes, the thing practically wrote it'self, lol.

He glances at their picture upon his desk.
Their lives held fast within its frame.
He reaches for the phone, working late yet again,
His excuses are always the same.

The plans are in place and there’s no time to waste.
He has made his decision and it can’t be erased.
Partly to blame, but he feels not ashamed.
His rendezvous of lust has been pre-arranged.

They meet in the park, by that big old oak tree.
It's all about lust, it's all about deeds,
It's all about him fulfilling his needs.

No feelings of guilt for the ones betrayed and left behind.
A wife and two children, time after time.
Excuses all made he’s off to the park.
He waits by the tree till nearly dark.

For her embrace he would risk all.
Urges too strong to simply ignore.
Then she arrives, they hug and they kiss.
They go for a stroll along that old Mississip.

Their hearts are so filled, they live in that moment.
In each other’s arms they find their consolement.
When just up ahead, emerges an old familiar shape.
A couple sharing in loves sweet embrace.

Sitting on a park bench, arms holding each other so tight.
His heart begins to race and excite at the sight.
As they part from love’s sweet give and take.
He hears an old familiar sigh, he’s not heard in years.
His heart begins to break and his eyes turn to tears.

His heart skips a beat as the view becomes more and more clear.
Who is this that holds his love so close, so tender and dear.
He gets this stabbing, sinking feeling deep within his chest.
All his self control is being put to the test.

As he turns away searching anywhere, anywhere but there.
He ponders, how could she have done this to us?
God, life is just so unfair.

He hears off in the distance the baying of hounds, as if they’re from hell.
He is tangled in the moment and feeling not at all well.

Frantic, the thoughts, as they race through his head.
For he fears, if he were not alone,
surely they both would be dead.
As his mistress reaches across and holds him so tight.
Unknowing and playful, giggling, unaware of his plight.
Selfish indulgence veils her to this un-holy sight.

Unaware of the battle that's raging within.
Or to the presents of this blasphemous, adulterous sin.
He wants to scream out; "HEY BUDDY THAT”S MY WIFE!”
He fantasizes whether he should take his life.

Full of outrage his rage turns to quite, as inside his pain turns to trembling tears.
Held back in respect over reminisced years.

Like the tree that is all twisted in a late summer’s storm.
The passion in his heart once again has been stoked.
Justice or fate has struck like a lighting bolt stroked.

Like the wind swirling from all directions at once.
Like hail pouring down from the heavens above.
He’s tangled in the moment, with out any hope.
He’s tangled in the moment, with nowhere to run.
Passions bleed out on a park bench and soon will be done.

As his mistress squeezes him close with a heart full of lust.
His hands start to tremble and shake, his heart crumbles into dust.
He’s tangled in the moment; his spirit has just been crushed.
All the while, at home the kids play with their dolls and their trucks.

The flower that was once their love has now been plucked at the stem.
Aunt Mary sips English tea and prays for the both of them.
He’s tangled in the moment, snared in horrid dis-belief.
To the altar of love he must lay sorrow's wreath.
Asking himself, what price be this lust?
Asking himself, was it worth US?

Thank you

How bleak the realm,
Rain falls in drenching torrents.
Providing respite from oppressive heat
It seems blissfully serene,
as it washes away earthly sins.
Bones sink deep in the delta like mud.
The roads they flood and the rivers they rise.
The clouds block out the midday Sky.
Fools ford, wading in their ignorance.
Thunderous applause from the heavens above,
for deeds well done.
All to soon it is over and the suppression returns.
Swelter God’s creatures, for this is your lot.
The toils of your life are but for your reference,
So that all may appreciate the Savanna storms respite.