I hated taking pictures
I couldn't bear to look
At the photos I had taken
Laid neatly in the book
I couldn't find the beauty
The smiles weren't real
Everything looked hollow
I'd forgotton how to feel

The pictures said 1000 words
I lacked the courage to speak
I'd become a shadow
Quiet, tired and meek
When did I become this thing
I had to ask myself
My heart and soul were hiding
I'd put them on a shelf

Looking back is painful
All the wasted time
Taking hollow pictures
Of a face that wasn't mine.
Hard to turn the page
On the memories that burn
Though I'm grateful now
For the lessons that I learned

My heart and soul
Are off the shelf
And he is long gone too
Now the pictures of myself
Have the smile that is true
The frames of him
Have been removed
The light no longer dim
Take my picture
You will see
The woman I
Was meant to be

Beautiful.

Accurate and funny!!

Roulette crossroads... I like that.

Thank you for that. I'm well past this part. Now when I go over my journals from the time sometimes something just comes together.

I sit softly on her shoulder
And whisper in her ear
Words of love and strength
That she no longer hears
The other voice is louder now
It booms within her soul
She believes his lies
Every single one it told
I try to reach her mind
But I think she's given up
It's gone on so long.. So long
That she no longer trusts
Her voice... Thats me
The woman, the girl, the child
The soul she used to be.

Don't give me credit for the man you are
I want no part of that
It would be my shame for the next woman
You blame
I will not wear that hat.
You alone can wear that crown
You've done it all your life
You're pleasure in bringing others down
Relishing the pain and strife.
No sir.. Keep your thanks
Don't put it on my back
I will not take the credit
For the humanity you lack.

Nice writing.

That is lovely. That is that moment that love is in limbo.. Good writing.

Very relatable. Thank you for sharing.

Don't know where it ends
And I don't know how
The sound of thunder
That I dread
Make it stop right now

Like lightning he strikes
He doesn't raise a hand
He spits the words
That bite and claw
I close my eyes
And pray ... No more


The rain pours down
They are my tears
They are the sum
Of all my fears
Stuck in the storm
It's shelter I seek
From the pain and chaos
That he wreaks.

Very relatable. Another person is the worst addiction any of us can have.

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the comments.

I was afraid of the dark
And all the secrets that it held
I was afraid of my heart
And all the lies it swallowed whole
I was afraid of my smile
Would they see that it was fake...
I was afraid of my eyes
And the stares I could not break
I was afraid of my soul
That it would never know the light
I was afraid of my life
It seemed a pointless fight

I did not find religion
I did not find God

I found the fear
And hugged it tight
And then
I kissed it goodnight.

It does revisit now and then
But I now remind it
You're not my friend
Because I'm no longer
Afraid of the dark.

Lol. I don't anymore. Hard work for the soul but worth every bit of it. Keep those covers tucked!!

I was going to make a list
Of all the monsters that I've known
The vicious lies, the broken dreams
Like acid being thrown.
At my heart, at my mind
The words they use and twist.
I wish someone had told me,
It didn't have to be like this.
I thought this list would be quite long.
Now I see that this is wrong.
The monsters that I've known
They told me,
I was ugly
I was fat
I was stupid
I was too much
I was not enough
I was cold
I was needy
I was frigid
I was a whore
I was worthless

And again..
I was stupid


Always,
I was stupid

And I was
Because
The only monster there
Ever was
Was me.

Beautiful words