If a guy whacks off to porn while married or with a g/f, in my opinion, it means he's not getting what he needs from his partner, either not enough, not often enough or not good enough.
Now, I read that a man's sexual satisfaction shouldn't depend on his partner, that a healthy 'male' doesn't resort to porn to get his kicks and that a woman shouldn't debase herself to serving her man's sexual needs, that if he's a "real man" he should be happy with the little she allows him to have and shouldn't look at other women even if he hadn't had sex - GOT LUCKY - for months on ends because "love conquers all" and "true soul mates don't need sex to be happy".
I also read that a man should already consider himself LUCKY to have a woman, no matter if she allows sex in the bedroom or not.

So let's recap all that:
Women demand their men to be ready to have sex when they're ready, or he has a problem (several problems in fact).
Men should feel lucky if a woman even looks at them.

I understand what you are saying and did give it great thought. Unfortunately, our problem has existed since the beginning and I chalked it up to his inexperience. After all this time, I can now look back and see that this indeed is an addiction and it existed before I did.

With a name like pyxxy were you into the porn industry yourself? Perhaps a former undercover porn actress

This is the most thoughtful answer so far.

The thing is, that sex is both a part of a love relationship, and it's a metaphor for the overall relationship at the same time.

There's all sorts of differences between porn and a live subject, if you just think a tiny bit. Porn doesn't have to be in the mood, it doesn't have to cooperate, it doesn't ask questions or challenge anything you do with it, it doesn't care if your approach was thoughtful and romantic enough, and more than anything else with newly weds, it doesn't symbolize the end of childhood freedom, or the imposition of adult responsibility on the participants.

In short, there are tons of obvious and less obvious psychological reasons why some relationships' sexual component isn't what each person desires, and usually addiction of some kind is LAST on the list of probable causes.

Sex reflects the overall relationship, and not just as a barometer of desire. If your relationship is built of mismatched fantasies about what marriage is supposed to be, that will show up as problematic sex. If you don't communicate well about the more general aspects of marriage, that's probably true of your sexual relations as well.

Finally, the simplest thing about dealing with your partner masturbating, is the most basic psychology of all. If it offends you, and you get upset with them for it, that means you are telling them that you don't like THEM, as a person, for who they really are.

You want someone else.

And I can tell you as someone who has been male for over sixty years now, the absolute WORST way to get me interested in having sex with you, is to communicate that I'm a stand in for the "REAL MAN" you actually had in mind.

Can a drug or alcohol addiction go away? Porn is an addiction that can be life controlling just like drugs or alcohol. Does he prefer Porn and self gratification over being with his wife? If so then it's a major addition and needs professional help and will always bet there.

Off topic but can we do away with "whacking off"?
There are better terms to choose from....

To name a few:

Abusing the wicked stick
Adjusting the antenna
Aiding and abetting a known felon
Applying the hand brake
Arguing with Henry Longfellow
Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
Attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Audition your hand puppet
Backstroke roulette
Badgering the witness
Barking up the wrong tree

I keed I keed

I've never whacked off while in a relationship

Shhhhhh!!!!!


And OP....Young guys whack off no matter what.....if it interferes in the marriage though, its a problem.

most ( not all) young men develop this addiction during adolescence

many men ( shhhhh I know this is a secret) continue to do this

after marriage


if he is only doing this and not wanting to be intimate with you
then I would recommend couples counseling

I hate it when people cut in line....
. I hate it when parents yell at their children in public...
.. I hate standing in line.. and waiting for the person in front of me.. to decide what they are going to order..
.. from the coffee house menu.... when they were just standing in line for 10 minutes with me... before they got up to be serviced..... what on earth were they thinking for those 10 minutes..... they should have been thinking what the hell they wanted to order..... but instead they're thinking...
.. did I leave the lights on in my bathroom....omg... make me want to strangle them...