umm...you haven't really seen much of the world, have you...

The museums are jokes.
The food sucks. Ok, the restaurants have gotten better in recent years, but the grocery stores are still very limited unless you like fried..everything.
Bars? you use a plethora of bars as an example of how good it is here? seems like that should show how desperate it is here...
Oh yes the lakes. Let's go and see the water sources we like to poison. Yes that'll be fun. Want to go for a walk by the lake under the moonlight? Sorry, you'll be arrested for trespassing if it's after 11pm.
We have molehills people like to make into mountains.
Forests? please. We have overgrown bushes w/ delusions of grandeur.

And the rest..are merely distractive parties to keep one from thinking how little culture and intelligence is in this state. If one has a brain, this state suckith mightily.
There's a very good reason why it's cheap to live here. Anyone with a brain doesn't want to and tries to get out if they can.