If you take a legalistic approach, the sin is not in the divorce, it is
in the remarriage, but an examination of the cultural backdrop with
regard to scriptures about divorce still begs the question and leaves it
wide open to mitigating circumstances. I.e. When the adulterous woman
was brought to Jesus in the famous scenario "Let he that is without sin
among you cast the first stone" it is of note that the other male party
was not brought, which was in violation of the Law. However, Jesus
removed all doubt when he said, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no
more."
Hypocrites then and now have misapplied the Law. The Apostle Paul made
it clear, as did Peter, that no one kept the Law, and that it was
intended to sentence all as having come short of the "glory of God."
Now, to reality: John 10:10 clearly depicts the heart and motive of
Christ, to bring LIFE, and not steal, kill, or destroy. Further,
understanding marriage in our culture, versus the Genesis account of
Adam/Eve, reflects that God intended marriage as a mutual and helpful
relationship, NOT A LEGAL/FINANCIAL CONTRACT.
With this in mind, it is "written again" that "it is not good for the
man that he should be alone" which overrides whatever is meant by any
Law rendered since God ordained a relationship between a man and a
woman.
From this point on in life, you can be proactive with destruction or
with life...and if ANYONE is trying to leverage you with legalism or
financial concerns to save marriage as an 'institution', they are being
proactive with destruction.
Divorce does not destroy anyone, but a hypocritical, double standard
PERCEPTION of divorce sentences divorcees or discovered adulterers to be
the 'walking dead' among pew dwellers at family reunions and church
socials.
Marriage is about two people, and the scripture does not ascribe the
overt concerns for children that is emphasized in American culture...we
are 'extra-biblical'.
The same folks who press you about divorce are the same folks who have
no power, promote select verses out of context to raise money via
tithing (which is not a New Testament/Apostolic teaching) and live their
lives void of Grace.
In short, there is nothing REDEMPTIVE in their approach.
The illusion that you need to do all you can to make your marriage
'work' is based on a letter-that-killeth life approach.
In many cases, control issues come to the forefront, and immoral issues
are simply the outcome/outgrowth of that because sex is about an
exchange of POWER, not love.
Respect and love run together, and if two people can no longer listen to
and/or advise each other, consider one another credible, then the
inevitable is not too far down the road.
Some persons can remain in a marriage and they manifest their resistance
by finding a 'corner in the rooftop', or a golf course, or a women's
meeting, and skip the sex in favor of maintaining an 'image' at the
expense of a viable, BIBLICAL, relationship...it is, again, embracing a
less taboo, set of sins.
Others attempt to change their 'performance' and it creates a breeding
ground for resentment, because it is not coming from a heart fully
persuaded that certain prescribed actions are genuine or authentic.
There's much more that can be pointed out, but as much as God hates
divorce, He allowed it, and hates hypocrisy even more...either way, the
whole mess is due to what Christ called "hardness of heart" and when you
have let someone other than your spouse exercise control over you,
whether physically, soulishly, or spiritually, you work destruction in
the inner life.
Whoever has your ear eventually has your heart and your body.
God can take you on, and he is good all the way through...anything else
comes from the destroyer of souls...and all that is in this world which
resists goodness.
To sum: The Good News also applies to divorcees...once, twice, or ten
times over...or "70 times 7"...for such is the nature of God.
That's how I look at it, based on several years of experience, with the
hope that what I have written will not be viewed as a license to break
up, but a response to anyone who works in league with the accuser.
Fare ye well.