Mike - First off, I would like to say, even though I hardly know you, I
can say I truly appreciate your sincerity, humility, and willingness to
submit to and pursue God's commandments, even above your own interests!

This seems like a very personal issue that probably won't be resolved
online, and I would suggest to talk to a close friend or pastor about
something like this.

With that said, please note that this is my personal advice, and not a
command from scripture, although there may be some biblical principles.
If she believe that the marriage truly "done", and attempts of
forgiveness & reconciliation have been exhausted but with no direction,
then if it is her desire, it seems like all that's left of the divorce
is the paperwork. If that's the case, then I believe you are free, and
your conscience will eventually reveal that as you will reach a state of
peace in your decision.

I do believe divorce is a sin, and should be avoided if possible.
However, there are some exceptions where Jesus and Paul have said it is
acceptable. Also, as was stated earlier, God is gracious to forgive;
however, this is no license to sin if we can consciously avoid it.

Some scriptures that might clear up things here:

Eph 5:22-33 - Marriage is intended to be a picture of the relationship
between Christ & the church. Divorce severely damages that picture, as
God would never abandon us (his church).

Gen 2:22-24 - God's original design: Man & Woman become 1 flesh in
marriage

Matt 19:3-9 - Jesus quotes Gen 2, also saying, "What therefore God has
joined together, let no man seperate". Also note exception in verse 9.

Matt 5:31-32 - Same idea.

1 Cor 7:10-16 - Tying into the exception clause in Matt 19, if the
spouse in the relationship is in an immoral extramarital relationship,
and decides to leave, turning down forgiveness & reconiliation, then
"the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases". In essence,
as a result of this person's actions and refusal to turn to Christ and
ask for forgiveness, this immoral spouse has shown to be an unbeliever.

I hope that helps - the best thing to do is probably to talk to your
pastor, pray for wisdom and ask for those around you to pray for you.