Depends.

Did we meet online? Then a restaurant, somewhere public and neutral.

Did we meet at random? Did I see how you naturally interact with the environment, unbeknownst to you? Then somewhere the focus is a little less on you and me and more on doing something; bowling, gaming, driving range, amusement park.

Did we meet through friends? Family? Or have we known each other in some capacity for a while? Then somewhere somewhat more special and individualized.


Other than that, I know if I was talking to someone and it was getting to the "ask for a date" part, I would run away if they ever said something like..."soooo....what do you wanna do?" or, "where would you like to go?" or, "would you rather do x, y, or z?"

If someone doesn't have a plan or specific desire to do something then it either means they aren't really used to doing anything, they aren't communicative, or they aren't really being themselves, afraid of committing to who they are in the hopes they can be who the other person wants by doing what the other person wants to do.

If they aren't really used to doing anything then more than likely they are using me to date as a means to avoid doing nothing anymore, they don't want to go on a date with me, they just want to get out of the house, to get away from their emotional or mental problems.

If they aren't very communicative, then what kind of date is it going to be if they aren't even willing to be forthright with what they want to do? Having a conversation or getting honest meaningful interaction will be like pulling teeth.

If they aren't being themselves, that's just a little worse than being uncommunicative, because it's being falsely communicative.

If I were a woman, I'd avoid like the plague any guy that didn't have something concrete in mind. Even as simple as "I'd like to meet me at starbucks Tuesday after work, if you can make it?" or "I'm going to panera for lunch tomorrow, I'd love for you to join me."

As a guy I avoid like the plague women that speak in a prevaricating or equivocating manner.

I always wanted to just burn the theater down whenever I saw a Hugh Grant movie where he was all "would you like to think about considering possibly the idea of perhaps the contemplation of the concept of maybe sometime conceivably cogitating about giving a shot to the probability that maybe we might at some point go on a date somewhere to do something sometime maybe perhaps?"

If we went on a date, where would you rather go bowling, horseback riding, to a beach, or take anything you would like and see if I would do it.

If we went on a date, where would you rather go bowling, horseback riding, to a beach, or take anything you would like and see if I would do it.

Welcome San Pablo! (I was raised in the Bay Area also,
San Lorenzo, Castro Valley, San Ramon..worked in SF.)

Site works great, loyalty is not a gender-bender :-)