Hon, if you have a house sell it and go to college. You are far too young to have this kind of problem, and you will regret not going to college later on after you've given the best years of your life to this guy and you realize he doesn't really love you, but you now have two kids to take care of etc. etc. etc... Your leaving and returning tells him that you can be manipulated, and that you weren't serious about it. Your earlier comment that you cry a lot could also mean that you are suffering from depression. Talk to your doctor about it. You do sound like you have low self-esteem, and the one thing I know is that until you get your own life in order, you will not be ready to tackle the problems this guy has, nor will you be able to love him properly. It's not fair to either of you. At your age you should be on a voyage of self-discovery, not worrying about bills etc, travelling Europe with a backpack or something. If he is laying a guilt trip on you to keep you from doing things then he is no friend of yours. What are your dreams for you life? He should support your dreams, not bring you down, or make you feel guilty. Sit down and think about what kind of woman you want to be, and how you are going to get there. Talk to him about your dreams, and if he riducules you, or puts you down, or tries to make you think you can't do it, then you know it's time to leave. You don't need a plan just for tomorrow or next month, you need a plan for the rest of your life!

Scotland in Sept. for three weeks. First six days in Edinburgh, then rented a car and headed for the highlands! Had a great time. Castles, kilts,lochs and misty islands. Visited the town where my greatgrandmother was from. Finished up in Glasgow and came home with over 1200 photos. I would highly recommend a visit to Scotland.