So you pass someone on the street and they say 'hi' and you don't feel any reason nor compulsion, whatsoever, to respond in kind.....? Sure, it is a bit of a different scenario, but the fact that simply recognizing that a persons attempt at being nice and showing an interest in you deserves better than a complete snub.....IMO.

If a message is sent, isn't that the very first natural approach, in regards to what the majority here likely believes, in an attempt to communicate with another member......?

Whether you know immediately, after checking that sending members profile, that you're not interested, it would seem the most commonly accepted courtesy would be to give a short, polite response rather than to make that person feel completely discounted.

Being nice doesn't detract from that person nor does it cost anything. I can't imagine that each one of us doesn't know that of the two approaches to this 'issue' that have been mentioned, only one would be generally considered both polite and thankfully, a much more common and acceptable practice.

Or some so thick-skinned that simply being polite is too much of a bother, somehow below them and not in their 'how to treat people' network/protocol.

Bottomline, for me.......it certainly wasn't a loss of any potential, 'diamond in the rough'.

I did, but got a message that it was deleted as it 'wasn't open forum time for such queries'.....

So, mine, as yours have been all along....good intentions don't always work out.

Good luck to you and yours....

Good suggestion - I submitted a quick proposal in regards to this issue in the 'Help' section.

Thanks......

So you're taking back, "I will give you that"....? Not fair..... ..... nor can I understand the sudden change. No matter......

Agreeing to disagree is fine as it is not a personal matter between you and I, at least from my standpoint. It is a bit disconcerting that you had agreed with my premise earlier and now, for some reason....you don't.

Since you don't think that a simple change in the 'last online' format would benefit all members who look at that specific part of each profile (probably most all, but yourself), I'm totally stumped as to why you wouldn't agree with it being much more helpful to members than the status quo which leaves everyone to wonder and speculate as to if the member died, moved on or was perhaps simply murdered back in '08 and therefore, "not online in 30 days".

I get the 'ole dogs, new tricks' routine we can all fall into, but when the common sense benefits of such a change are so obvious, why such opposition from someone so attached to this site that most of her day is spent here...? You would seem much too dedicated to this site not to see the very clear and obvious benefit to all members seeking what you have reminded us of finding yourself, recently.

Again congratulations to you and have a great day, as well.

I also have enjoyed the interactions in the short time that I have been here.....very much so. I'm sure that many do or they wouldn't be here.....makes sense. Some here are obviously thinking that they're offering us a service, while others just want to be 'serviced'. The majority, I believe however, are here to find a like minded companion in hopes of enhancing both of their lives going forward in life......just like you did recently. Back to the subject as my like or dislike for this site, nor yours, was ever in question nor ever brought up.

Those 'missing in action' for a month or more. You don't practice 'surfing profiles'.....'never have'. Since we're talking about what the majority of members likely do or even a a handful do as their preferences should count as well, seeing when another member was online last is obviously more beneficial for each active member than the status quo. I don't need to reiterate why and I think that you're astute enough to know that there are more viable reasons that I could make to more easily justify such a change, than not.

So, what would be the downside of such a change...? If nothing, as is clearly evident, it would be a positive and useful change that I'd think that you'd get 110% behind since you obviously enjoy this site a great deal and likely want other members, like yourself, to finally find that special someone.....

Seattle is only 1 1/2 hours away as is Vancouver BC to the north and as you know from reading my profile these last few minutes (as I did then, yours), travel/schedules/etc. are not inconveinences for me.....thankfully. My mom lives there as well, so I find myself down south quite often. The issue isn't and hasn't been how many members are actually active and how large a city close by can enhance one's opportunities. The discussion is and has been that members/profiles either no longer active or not active within the last month don't enhance or positively impact members opportunities who are seeking out others members who are CURRENTLY AVAILABLE to message/chat with, exchange #'s and/or eventually date......which is the whole idea here and why any and all dating sites exist in the first place.

If a member seeks out companionship here where there are a huge % of profiles that are either totally useless or 'out of date', why would someone/anyone want to sort through all of those just to finally get to real, active and single members wishing for the same results...?

A bit like going to a cemetary and being told that 50% of the people buried there are alive. Find 'em........

Thanks for the response.... .

First of all......good for you..... .

I agree that some obviously do 'come back', but I would guess that many, many more don't. Aside from that......if single, would not the publishing of the dates regarding a members 'last online date' be a more useful approach for our active members rather than a timeframe of 30 days ago to 10 years ago....?

What is quite possibly true is that certain people with profiles exist in pictures only.

I did a Google search and what some sites do (I'm not casting doubt on this particular site), is to post numerous (if not the majority) pictures of very attractive women and men, publish the bare minimum information in their profiles so as not to offer too much information that can be questioned, match you up with someone that you thought would never be interested in you (for any # of personal reasons) and then when you message them in an honest and trusting approach as one would expect from any 'dating' site, you either never get a response and/or if you do, it is so bland, minimal and general that you wonder and start to question if you ever asked any questions of them in your first email attempting to contact them.

It is obvious that there are some very real members here. The other may not be so obvious, but if some of these aforementioned circumstances have happened to you, especially over and over again, I can certainly understand why that member would want to know the answer to the subject of this thread.

Some people are just impolite, some are just likely also very full of themselves, but it's just hard to imagine that there are that many people not answering their messages that fit either group.

Other's thoughts......?

I believe that all of the profiles that indicate that the member (or ex-member) hasn't been on this site for 'a month' can actually mean that they haven't been available to contact for years (or whenever this site was first started). The wording is so ambiguous that those really hoping to make contact with someone who they may just hope or think 'just took a month off', likely have little hope of ever being able to contact that person of interest.

I'm sure that a very small % of people did take a month or more hiatus from this site, but I'd also bet that most are done here.

I don't think that most here would place bets otherwise, but it is sad that their hopes and ability to 'move on' have been placed on hold due to only 'not knowing'.

It would seem both more responsible and useful for every member if this site would publish the last date that the member was actually online, rather than the ambiguous wording now being published. I have been made aware that other sites do this and IMHO......that would serve to be much more beneficial to members here rather than the current practice.

The current method does lend itself to advertise a much larger active membership in regards to the profiles we view, therefore giving us the impression that we have a boat load of more choices, but what's the use if the last time someone that we might be interested in was online in 2010.....or worse.

Just a thought.......

You are a quick witted lady......good job!

New here and if being truthful amongst the majority of the remarks.......we are all conditioned, to a certain degree, to not think of ourselves in terms of being neither that desirable nor being that attractive. I think that's why we won't nor can't give an honest and/or confident answer to the original question.....IMO. It goes against the grain.....so to speak. Contrary to most who have posted remarks in this particular thread, I know that I have many attractive qualtites and also that I have the guts and confidence to share them openly and freely.

Soooo.......in an attempt to help bolster others confidence levels here and to finally give an honest answer to a very honest and simple question...........I've been told that I have a very expansive, sturdy, beautiful and extremely accommodating deck....

I tried.........I really did, but I...almost.....nope.....can't do it......