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Topic: Older individuals
Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 04/01/19 02:59 PM
On a level of 1 to 10, what is Your emotional level , when it comes. to relationship problems in your life ?

oldkid46's photo
Mon 04/01/19 03:18 PM
??? clarification of the question

FeelYoung's photo
Mon 04/01/19 03:24 PM
Edited by FeelYoung on Mon 04/01/19 03:26 PM
Old Kid, its simple. you know what your pain level is when you go to a doctor 1-10.
Well, this is emotionally.... How do you rate your relationships?? 1 to 10.
I rate mine at an 8 if the other person can carry a conversation. Doesn't talk about himself constantly. Is clean and in reasonable health. If I cannot get words out of him, the rating immediately goes to about a 4. Especially if we have had 2 to 3 dates. Personal care enters into it, but for me, its mainly the person being able to talk about a wide range of subjects. So I rate it at an 8 for most guys. The few that are zombies don't get the 2nd or 3rd meeting. I don't expect anyone to reach a 10 I am not able to be a 10 or sometimes not even a 9. The other thing I look for is if a relationship progresses to kissing, etc., it's a 7 or 8 if both of us have like/care/love feelings for the other, but if its just to get to Third Base or Home Run, that's the end of the relationship.

Datwasntme's photo
Mon 04/01/19 03:26 PM

On a level of 1 to 10, what is Your emotional level , when it comes. to relationship problems in your life ?

i would think about a 10 when i woke up to the sounds of me wife sleepen with some one ... or would that be an 8 cause they are both still walken
<scratches head>
but yeah i think that all depends on the problem

Freebird Deluxe's photo
Mon 04/01/19 03:36 PM
when my marriage was crumbling 10,
when we split it went to zero
it remains there until someone turns my emotions on again

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 04/01/19 03:37 PM
I think I am a 6 , I can get very emotional but only if the problem causes a break up. I don't sweat the small things.

JustBeHonest's photo
Mon 04/01/19 04:49 PM
My current relationship is a 9 after 4 months of serious dating. Lots in common, little to disagree about and lots of fun activities.

Smartazzjohn's photo
Mon 04/01/19 05:34 PM
I don't know how to quantify any emotion.yawn

FeelYoung's photo
Mon 04/01/19 07:34 PM
john, quantify means to express or measure. So if you are unable to measure any emotion, how does that help to answer the question or refer to the topic?

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 04/02/19 12:40 AM

On a level of 1 to 10, what is Your emotional level , when it comes. to relationship problems in your life ?

I have no relationship problems with my current gf.
She's pretty good at being her and I'm pretty good at being me and we just get along fine.

Out of curiosity is the 1 to 10 scale with 1 joyous emotional level and 10 as terrible emotional levels or is it 1 terrible and 10 joyous?

notbeold's photo
Tue 04/02/19 04:17 AM
I don't know how the scale goes.
I'm about a 9 at the broken end.

JustBeHonest's photo
Tue 04/02/19 05:30 AM


Oh the scale, well I’m a 9 at the good end.

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 04/02/19 06:00 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Tue 04/02/19 06:04 AM


On a level of 1 to 10, what is Your emotional level , when it comes. to relationship problems in your life ?

I have no relationship problems with my current gf.
She's pretty good at being her and I'm pretty good at being me and we just get along fine.

Out of curiosity is the 1 to 10 scale with 1 joyous emotional level and 10 as terrible emotional levels or is it 1 terrible and 10 joyous?


Tom that is Great ,You have someone like that!

1 terrible and 10 good !


Sorry I wasn't Clear on that! Anyone want to Post again ? biggrin



oldkid46's photo
Tue 04/02/19 07:09 AM
In my experience, any relationship has a certain amount of stress/negative emotional feelings. That is just the reality of 2 people being involved especially in a romantic situation. Hopefully there are enough positive things that you get from a partner to offset the negatives. Most of my relationships, while positive in the early parts of the relationship, have become negative with a little time. With friends, I tolerate very little negative stress and tend to move on if that happens.

It seems that many people need a strong emotional connection with someone they are in a relationship with. They want and need a strong level of emotional support. I guess that is what those people define as a great relationship. For those who don't form strong emotional connections with others or need strong emotional support, a great relationship is defined by other metrics such as shared interests, similar lifestyles, shared values, and low emotional stress. A relationship can be great without having a lot of emotional connectivity/interaction between the people involved.

When you bring a high level of emotional needs or drama to a relationship, you cause an amount of emotional stress in your prospective partner. It is highly disruptive to try and meet someone's needs when that is not your normal way of life. It is simply putting on a front for your partner not who you really are and eventually it will end.

no photo
Wed 04/03/19 03:45 PM
1. I have no relationships going, nothing pending, and am not looking.

Life is good.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 04/03/19 09:10 PM

In my experience, any relationship has a certain amount of stress/negative emotional feelings. That is just the reality of 2 people being involved especially in a romantic situation. Hopefully there are enough positive things that you get from a partner to offset the negatives. Most of my relationships, while positive in the early parts of the relationship, have become negative with a little time. With friends, I tolerate very little negative stress and tend to move on if that happens.

It seems that many people need a strong emotional connection with someone they are in a relationship with. They want and need a strong level of emotional support. I guess that is what those people define as a great relationship. For those who don't form strong emotional connections with others or need strong emotional support, a great relationship is defined by other metrics such as shared interests, similar lifestyles, shared values, and low emotional stress. A relationship can be great without having a lot of emotional connectivity/interaction between the people involved.

When you bring a high level of emotional needs or drama to a relationship, you cause an amount of emotional stress in your prospective partner. It is highly disruptive to try and meet someone's needs when that is not your normal way of life. It is simply putting on a front for your partner not who you really are and eventually it will end.

Until I met this person I now call my GF, I would have agreed wholeheartedly.
What is strange, weird, uncommon is the fact that neither of us allow our insecurities to influence how we feel for each other.
I think it is a rare thing to find someone an equal in that regard.
We are not focused on what could be but what actually is, in the moment.
I don't allow my insecurities to alter how we interact in the here and now.
When alone, my mind plays many scenarios but that is my mind.
Everytime we meet up, my fears are set aside in favor of the real 'right now' interactions we have.
If I were to carry my fears into the relationship it would cause problems that don't actually exist.
I've travelled that path before.
As long as we are both honest with each other and act as we must, we have a fighting chance at something special.
We have talked about this in depth.
Not only do we both understand where each of us are at, we are both weird compared to others.
Neither of us gives a damn what others think of us.
We find joy with each other and our 'weirdness'.
Both of us are fairly intelligent.
Both of us have endured extreem difficulty in relationships in the past.
Both of us are tired of the bullcrap.

It may not work out between us in the long run, if that is so, it will likely be a mutual decision we both agree on.

I feel fortunate to have found someone that is so closely matched to my personality and we found each other thru Mingle2.

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 04/04/19 04:57 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Thu 04/04/19 04:58 PM
@Tom

I find your response very interesting!


Rock's photo
Fri 04/05/19 12:54 AM
If 10 is "good"...

I'd say currently, at least a 9 or 10.

Toodygirl5's photo
Fri 04/12/19 07:32 AM

If 10 is "good"...

I'd say currently, at least a 9 or 10.



That's Great. ! :thumbsup:

Toodygirl5's photo
Fri 04/12/19 07:33 AM
Men usually don't get that emotional in their Relationships.
Especially when they get over 50.

:smile:

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