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Community > Posts By > I_love_bluegrass
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Nor does a *man* "need to be large and in charge to be strong".. Alpha-type guys who feel the need to assert their "dominance"....those are really just jerks with insecurity/ ego issues.. Very true, but one does not excuse the other. Both men and women who feel the need to be 'in charge' can be jerks. Agreed. Just wanted to point out that *that* behavior is just as off-putting in a guy.... 
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I have no problem with saying she was a controlling, bossy person, which is not being a strong woman. A strong woman does not need to be large and in charge to be strong. Nor does a *man* "need to be large and in charge to be strong".. Alpha-type guys who feel the need to assert their "dominance"....those are really just jerks with insecurity/ ego issues.. |
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Topic:
Who is the Lead
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I can also respect your feeling on the subject but if I asked a lady to dinner she could order just a roll and butter or a 7 course meal, I wouldn't mind. I would pay for whatever she ordered. The way I feel is I am honored she accepted my dinner invitation and honored to be in her presence sitting at the same table almost as if she were a queen sitting with one of her subjects. Chivalry is not dead with me. I would pay for dinner, pull out her chair, open the car door and hold her hand while she gets in the car. That's the way I was, am and always will be. If that is not what the lady wants, then she is welcome to not accept my dinner invitation. You are clearly different/ not of the ilk I am referring to.. And sometimes you *cannot* tell before the date/ until you are somewhere semi-alone..then their bad side comes out....some people are very good at hiding that initally. It has nothing to do with what I *want* ("If that is not what the lady wants, then she is welcome to not accept my dinner invitation.") It has to do with a few bad experiences, and I prefer to be cautious on the first date... Also..*I* would feel bad if a guy orders chicken...and I want a steak or prime rib, or whatever....if he is paying..I'd feel obligated to order something cheaper myself... If *I* pay..I can get what I want....and dessert too...even if he doesn't want it.... |
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While both men and women can be rude, as a guy I get it directed toward me from women. Just recently I had to explain to one somewhat over-bearing lady that there is a big difference between being a ‘strong woman’, and just being a ‘witch’ (with a b). She still did not understand, right up until I cut her out of my life. mature friend..could you clarify what the difference is? Because I think it would be subjective and vary.....like when you ask 10 people what they mean by "drama".....you get 9 different answers... |
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Topic:
Who is the Lead
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Tue 09/29/20 12:38 PM
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Should I ever invite someone for dinner, I gonna pay for both. We have a saying in Germany 'The one, who orders the music/band, has to pay for it'. I agree Lars. I could never expect or ask a lady to pay anything if I asked her to dinner. Maybe it's the way I was brought up or the fact that I am a gentleman but I will always foot the bill and be happy to do so.
I can respect that...however..I have had several experiences in my 59 years where I wanted something more expensive than what the guy was ordering, and me paying my part...I don't feel bad, nor do i have to settle for ordering something I do not really want. Also, I have had a few times where the guy was pushy about a kiss or *more* after a date...and stated he'd just spent X amount of money on me..the LEAST I could do was..... 
Oh HELL no. No No No If me paying for my part on a first date pisses him off/ insults his manhood/ matters so much to him, then *I* view that as a red flag...he may have control issues, or outdated patriarchal ideas that I am not in agreement with... Big deal..it is ONE date where I pay..and, shouldn't he be more concerned about making me feel comfortable/ at ease anyway? Not getting an attitude ? |
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Topic:
Who is the Lead
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One the first date, I pay my own way..
That way I can get what I want at the restaurant, and, if it goes bad, I don't feel bad/ like the guy wasted his money.. And also, I do not feel in any way obligated to give him anything *after* the date.. There are still some *****les out there who feel they spent X amount of money on a woman, therefore, they should get X amount of whatever out of her... |
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Topic:
Flirting ...
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 09/18/20 07:07 AM
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Universal flirting sign ...... “First the woman smiles at her admirer and lifts her eyebrows in a swift, jerky motion as she opens her eyes wide to gaze at him. Then she drops her eyelids, tilts her head down and to the side, and looks away. Frequently she also covers her face with her hands, giggling nervously as she retreats behind her palms . This sequential flirting gesture is so distinctive that [German ethologist Irenaus] Eibl-Eibesfeldt was convinced it is innate, a human female courtship ploy that evolved eons ago to signal sexual interest." I think it is a little like this  followed by this 
Sounds like something a little girl would do.. *I* certainly have never "covered my face and giggled"..over a guy..not since I have been an adult... 
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Topic:
Age difference
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Well Crystal my months in Europe were limited to the UK, France, Germany and the CR. I understand what you're saying and maybe my choice of the words "more accepted" was incorrect. All I'm saying is that I naturally met a lot of people and I met a much greater number of older men / younger women couples than I ever did in north America. Also try to consider that you have a woman's perspective and the old double standard still applies i.e. no I wouldn't say I met a larger amount of older woman / younger man couples there than here. One more factor thinking back most of the couples I'm speaking of would have been considered well-to-do or wealthy, more so than the average folks you'd meet on the street. So please excuse my previous wordage but I stand behind my (now) corrected statement, I know what I encountered. So, Ivegotthegirth..is there a double standard,,or is is just as "OK" for a woman of 50+ to date a boy young enough to be her on biological child I think anyone who is really young and *wants* to date someone old enough to be their dad/ mom or grandfather/ grandmother has serious issues (daddy/ mommy issues)..but I also think people who want to date kids young enough to be their OWN biological kids/ grandkids have serious issues...it's just creepy to me.. I mean...it's *their* life...but, if people can rip on me for *my* preferences they don;t understand/ say I need to change...then i have an equal right to claim what *they* want is off-putting to me...eh? Yes I'd say there is a double standard, not mine but based on what I've seen,yes worldwide. As I recently stated here personally I'm not attracted to a lot younger than me and never have been. I agree with you on the "creepy" part. IMO if you're a woman in your late 50's / early 60's and you're doing a guy that's 35 it's fairly sleezy and if you're a guy that's 60 doing a 35 y/o woman same thing. Of course there's so many variables and we haven't even mentioned the performance aspect; when it comes down to just the physical sex act as a famous funny man once said if you're a man you have to perform if you're a woman you just have to be there................. 
Well, *I've* never just "been there" in my life.. If I don't want to have sex., or ain't feelin' in the mood..I don't do it.. The worst I've done is faked an orgasm (decades ago) to get it over with, as the guy was clueless, wasn't interested in changing, and so, **** it...I just want him to finish so i can go home.. |
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Topic:
Age difference
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Wed 09/16/20 10:53 AM
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Well Crystal my months in Europe were limited to the UK, France, Germany and the CR. I understand what you're saying and maybe my choice of the words "more accepted" was incorrect. All I'm saying is that I naturally met a lot of people and I met a much greater number of older men / younger women couples than I ever did in north America. Also try to consider that you have a woman's perspective and the old double standard still applies i.e. no I wouldn't say I met a larger amount of older woman / younger man couples there than here. One more factor thinking back most of the couples I'm speaking of would have been considered well-to-do or wealthy, more so than the average folks you'd meet on the street. So please excuse my previous wordage but I stand behind my (now) corrected statement, I know what I encountered. So, Ivegotthegirth..is there a double standard,,or is is just as "OK" for a woman of 50+ to date a boy young enough to be her on biological child? I think anyone who is really young and *wants* to date someone old enough to be their dad/ mom or grandfather/ grandmother has serious issues (daddy/ mommy issues)..but I also think people who want to date kids young enough to be their OWN biological kids/ grandkids have serious issues...it's just creepy to me.. I mean...it's *their* life...but, if people can rip on me for *my* preferences they don;t understand/ say I need to change...then i have an equal right to claim what *they* want is off-putting to me...eh? |
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Topic:
site keeps logging me out
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Thanks for the clarification.
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Topic:
amazon news ...
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Sounds to good to be true to me. If you read the actual article..(I posted snippets from it), you see it is NOT *exactly* as the OP stated.... The $150,000, etc is NOT for your average "fulfillment center" worker...just the corporate and tech positions... The rest get $15 an hour. |
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Topic:
site keeps logging me out
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I have sent this info to Upper Admin in order to let the IT guy know.. And will let them know they need to contact you on this issue. Sorry for the inconvenience.. Keith will be checking with you on this. Forum Admin Kristi In August you'd said *this*.... I never received a message from anyone... 
Now you say we need to contact them directly? |
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Topic:
site keeps logging me out
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Been happening to me for the past several days as well...
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Topic:
2nd marriages
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What is different is the celebrity status of what you see in public displays. Celebs are personifications for the public. The same can be said about many people here, personifications for public view. True dat. Having lived in Nashville for decades, and being around music people all my adult life...I saw that most of the time, the "image" people put out in public is what their record companies want them to....not how they really are.. One guy in particular I've known since I was 16 (we've not talked in decades).. His "image"/ public face is not how he is on real life... Taking Bruce Willis as an example, its impossible to classify his love for his wives based on a public personification. You would need to actually visit his home and live there for a bit to understand how he feels for his wife. What you see may not be what is. Yep. See my reply above. |
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Topic:
2nd marriages
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Maybe because there was one or two things they really liked/ loved about the ex....but the rest...well..that's why they made the decision to make them the ex.
(or maybe that decision was "forced" on them...maybe it was HER doing to get rid of him, and he wasn't happy with that...and would really still like to be with her) I am over *my* ex.... By talking about my lived experience with him, that doesn't mean anything other than "here's what i lived"...nothing more, nothing less.. Hell, if we can't talk about past experiences without someone thinking "oh, you'd really rather be with them, eh?"..that's pretty sad...as I *learned* from my ex what I don't want and will not accept...and no way in *hell* would I want to be with him again. |
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Topic:
amazon news ...
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Not *exactly* what it appears...
From the article: "Amazon currently has 33,000 job openings for corporate and tech roles" OK...those are not jobs the average person could get in their warehouses/ fulfillment centers "...and says it will share "thousands of additional hourly roles in Amazon's Operations network" soon. All of the new employees for these roles will be paid at least minimum wage at $15 per hour with up to 20 weeks of parental leave." OK, THOSE are the jobs regular people could get..and those do NOT pay anywhere near $150,000... "The employees who fill the corporate and tech roles will receive an average pay of $150,000, including salary, stock-based compensation and benefits, an Amazon spokesperson told CNN Business." Well...there it is....won;t benefit your average working person... |
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If you know what to look for, not long at *all*..
If it is your first "rodeo"...it may take a while, while they make you question your sanity, and doubt your every feeling. |
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Topic:
Older women
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Older women are bitter and angry. If you really think that way it will come right back at you. If you project negative, that's what you're gonna get back. Maybe "older women" pick up on it sooner than younger........................................... I can say *this*. Most (if not all) the women I meet (some might need to read that *again*) in my age range (50+) seem to hate men. "I don' want no man"...or "all they want is a nurse or a purse" or things of that nature.. They don't want to get involved, in any form, with any man... These are straight women. *I* refuse to be around THAT kind of toxicity and negativity.. Now, *I* have met some sorry bastards in my day, but, I don't hate men, or never want to be involved again.. On the contrary....I DO hope to be married again some day.. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 09/04/20 04:22 PM
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I hate to tell you..that's not Crape Myrtle..that is a Sumac..
Here is a picture of a Crape Myrtle: http://gardengoodsdirect.com/products/dynamite-crape-myrtle?variant=22666823598144&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI06Hk09DQ6wIVFZJbCh220Q1wEAQYASABEgJ8aPD_BwE |
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the reason i Don't want to travel very far is because i have an old car and can't afford anything better. and most of the time these women i made the mistake of trying to date wanted ME to do ALL the travelling and they didn't want to make any effort to meet halfway or anything. i had to make All the plans and do all the driving which puts my car at risk of breaking down in an unfamiliar place with no way home. so yes, i don't want to travel more than an hour or so away. it is NOT worth me having to make All the effort. If it is a distance, it should be 50/50...or, sometimes, whoever has the better car might be inclined to do more driving.. I'm certainly not referring to anything one-sided WRT travel... I mean, yeah...closer would be better, but, I am not fool enough to think the best person for me is just 3-4 miles down the road... As I said..I live ion a rural area, and it is 15 miles to the Walmart..so.. If I was seeing someone an hour or more away..we'd trade off weekends driving...and figure out a way to see each other more often, if possible... |
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