Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.


Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.


A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.


How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.


What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin


Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.


Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.


How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.


How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.


How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train


Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.


Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.


What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.


What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.


What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.


Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?


Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism

I really liked a few of those. LOL

Ouch!