845 BC: Ancient records were discovered in North Africa describing the death of a ruler named Vondracek Beeir who was sacrificed by cutting an inch off his body starting at the bottom of his feet and working up.

458 BC: The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived.

wow......hopefully he was doped out of his mind so he didn't feel anything.......tho i'm sure he would've gone into shock before too long.

(the first guy)

i doubt they drugged him... it would seem that he'd probably bleed to death before they finished with the legs

42 BC: Porcia Catonis, wife of Marcus Junius Brutus, killed herself by supposedly swallowing hot coals after hearing of her husband's death; however, modern historians claim that it is more likely that she poisoned herself with carbon monoxide, by burning coals in an unventilated room.

336: Arius, the heretical priest who precipitated the Council of Nicea, passed wind and evacuated his internal organs.

true....

true....

wow, sounds like something out of ren and stimpy....

415: The Greek mathematician and philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria was murdered by a mob by having her skin ripped off with sharp sea-shells and what remained of her was burned. (Various types of shells have been named: clams, oysters, abalones. Other sources claim tiles or pottery-shards were used.)

just realized i screwed my title, meh

1016: Edmund II of England died by having a sword thrust in his anus by the soldiers of King Canute while using a primitive latrine.

Poetic justice for Aeschylus, no doubt. His plays are all Greek to me.

53 BC: Following his defeat at Carrhae at the hands of the Parthians under Spahbod Surena, Marcus Licinius Crassus was executed by having molten gold poured down his throat. Some accounts claim that his head was then cut off and used as a stage prop in a play performed for the Parthian king Orodes II.

Unbelievable how cruel they were back then!!

Those Parthians. What a bunch of wild and crazy guys.

270 BC: The poet and grammarian Philitas of Cos reportedly wasted away and died of insomnia while brooding about the Liar paradox.



In philosophy and logic, the liar paradox encompasses paradoxical statements such as "This sentence is false." or "The next sentence is false. The previous sentence is true." These statements are paradoxical because there is no way to assign them a consistent truth value. Consider that if "This statement is false" is true, then what it says is the case; but what it says is that it is false, hence it is false. On the other hand, if it is false, then what it says is not the case; thus, since it says that it is false, it must be true.

This is to be distinguished from the common colloquial expression "I tell a lie." when the speaker has realized that he has just accidentally told an untruth.

207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs

260: According to an ancient account, Roman emperor Valerian, after being defeated in battle and captured by the Persians, was used as a footstool by the King Shapur I. After a long period of punishment and humiliation, he offered Shapur a huge ransom for his release. In reply, Shapur had the unfortunate emperor skinned alive and his skin stuffed with straw or dung and preserved as a trophy. Only after the Sassanid dynasty's defeat in their last war with Rome three and a half centuries later was his skin given a cremation and burial.

wow what a happy post...not