2 Next
Topic: Dealing with ex boyfriend's
yellowrose10's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:01 AM

Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:02 AM
Just giving options. If you don't want to do them...that is up to you. Nothing more, nothing less :wink:

LandRover28's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:10 AM



Stop with the drama and move on.


Kids and their drama. I agree. I think I smells me a drama queen.


why do u think this is so funny


I don't think it's funny I think it's pathetic. It's obvious you like being chased and being played around with. Have you even told him your not interested? Looks like your enjoying ignoring him and having him linger at the tip of your finger. Tell him your not interested and move on. Your making this way too difficult...

LandRover28's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:14 AM


Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.

yashafox_F4X1's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:16 AM
If you had hurtful times with him, drop him and move on. Tell him "you had your chance. You need to get in a place in your mind where you're not going to hurt anyone. You need to be respectful toward women to keep their attention and their favor." and leave it at that. If he's intelligent, he'll get the message.

Tell your parents about this guy bugging you and tell your managers and co-workers. If you don't want him trying to continue to contact him, tell him. If he continues, call the police. If he touches you and you don't want him too, get him charged with assault. That should stop further attentions and tell him you're seriuos. If he comes on your property, charge him with trespassing.

Matter of fact, when you set him straight, tell him straight out, if the unwelcome attention continues, you'll bring the authorities in. That should stop things right there. You can also contact his parents if he's living at home.

Good luck to you. I can't say as I bleme him for trying again, though. You have a real nice photo on here. I'd be very surprised if you were ever at a loss for attention.

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:19 AM
I agree...you should tell him you aren't interested (unless you are) but you need to tell him to sstop wit the drive bys an not to come to your job for personal things like that

after that..if he still does it...then call the cops. And no one has a right to grab or touch anyone unless it's wanted by the other person

DebbieJT's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:25 AM



Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.
urm why should we put up with been grabbed anywhere..its our bodies what the hell gives anyone
the right for anyway to touch us anywhere if we dont want

LandRover28's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:27 AM




Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.
urm why should we put up with been grabbed anywhere..its our bodies what the hell gives anyone
the right for anyway to touch us anywhere if we dont want


sad ...

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:27 AM



Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.


that actually goes for anyone....man or woman

LandRover28's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:29 AM




Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.


that actually goes for anyone....man or woman


I think I'd call the cops if a girl grabbed my hand. I mean OMG. That would just scare the hell out of me. I've just been assaulted!!! Please...

Shaden's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:29 AM
Please be careful and don't take it lightly. I used to brush off things and there is overacting, but if he's stalking you, it could pose a real danger. I've been there. Listen to your heart, but better safe than sorry. People are just trying to help you. flowerforyou

DebbieJT's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:30 AM





Yellow~ I did not mean you were being defensive. :wink:

My point is this... this is only one of three versions to the story. And 'forcibly' could mean with passion as in please just talk to me for a minute. When I was 18 I used to drive by my ex's house...


laugh i didn't assume that silly

I was saying about that grabbin of her hand - legally it's an assault. I have had this with an ex that drove by, came to my work, tried to grab my hand etc. funny how he backed off when I pointed out that legally that can be stalking and assault....which it can be. My point is talking to him if she wants him to go away won't work if he's already calling and doing drive bys and going to her work. I did suggest her telling her manager


Grabbing a persons hand is legally assault... God what's next, looking at a girl will soon be sexual harrasment. You females take it way too far.
urm why should we put up with been grabbed anywhere..its our bodies what the hell gives anyone
the right for anyway to touch us anywhere if we dont want


sad ...
oh i see your so funny...guess the bruises i were left with when a man ONLY GRABBED my arm was ok then ????

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:30 AM
rover...I was referring to the OP saying forceably and telling her manager he was hurting her.

DebbieJT's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:33 AM
nah i think this guys thinks its ok to grab someone and hurt them rosegrumble grumble

smilingeyes_976's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:38 AM
Ya just have to be blunt with them..
When I was having trouble with one of my ex's showing up at my work, calling me at work, being in my car after work and basically telling me flat out that he wouldnt accept my decision.? I saved his emails. Talked with security at my job. Saved his voice mails. Because I refused to answer the phone when he called. Then I flat out told him. Back off or I will press charges. There were a few more instances but by basically ignoring the situation and showing him that I had moved on did the trick.

no photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:39 AM
BOYFRIENDS WHO CAN'T LET GO....."HAVE" KILLED THEIR GIRLFRIEND BEFORE!!!

So giggle giggle, I THINK NOT'''
YOU should take HIM very serious and be on gaurd for anything..

Rape happens ALOT by a stalker and some can flip-out into total monsters...So Parents need to KNOW ALL...and then the police, so THAT-AWAY, if you come up dead someone will have an idea where to look as for your murderer,,,,,

just a thought,,,GOOD LUCK....:heart: flowerforyou smokin

Fade2Black's photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:48 AM

Stop with the drama and move on.



what she said .... :tongue:

no photo
Tue 03/25/08 11:51 AM

Recently my ex boyfriend, who i dated in high school, tried gettin ahold me these couple of weeks and on Saturday he showed up at my job. I work at Applebees as a waitress, anyways, he just shown up, and asked for me, so i thought it was my sisters or whoever that was in trouble or whatever. Instead, it was my ex bf and he sat me down and kept sayin " i tried calling u, driving by ur house (which is my parents house) and y werent u around" Igot scared cos i told him it soudns like ur stalking me he said no i want us to b together again, and grabed my hand forefully and then my boss came out and i told my boss this guy is hurting me and he just ran out. :angry: grumble ohwell so any advice will b great on what to do next.

sounds too familiar to menoway
I had to recently go to court and get a restraining order on my ex.U have to stay safe. Dont be one of the ppl that say "It cant happen to me". know i didnt want to be.

good luckflowerforyou

Fade2Black's photo
Tue 03/25/08 12:04 PM

BOYFRIENDS WHO CAN'T LET GO....."HAVE" KILLED THEIR GIRLFRIEND BEFORE!!!

So giggle giggle, I THINK NOT'''
YOU should take HIM very serious and be on gaurd for anything..

Rape happens ALOT by a stalker and some can flip-out into total monsters...So Parents need to KNOW ALL...and then the police, so THAT-AWAY, if you come up dead someone will have an idea where to look as for your murderer,,,,,

just a thought,,,GOOD LUCK....:heart: flowerforyou smokin



Now that I think on it., I had one of those here on JSH .. geesh he even knows my address.

OMG. Would he take it so far as makin a trip from NY. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekglasses

Jillybean31's photo
Tue 03/25/08 12:18 PM
I agree with lilith here...admitting to driving by doesn't make him a stalker...just someone who hopes he can catch you at home to have conversation in person that he obviously tried to have with you at your workplace, as inappropriate as that was. I'll assume that he's young and give him some allowances for that even at this point.

When he's sleeping outside your house, becomes best friends with the next door neighbor, follows you down the grocery store isle and shows up at parties he was not invited to to be near you...then call me...after you've filed a complaint with the police.

Threats, poison pen letters, and poems about two lovers dying by the same knife...it's time for restraining orders and seeking help from his friends or family in the way of interventions and lots of meds!!!

So far, it sounds like you have a guy who esteems you, misses you and had some misguided idea that by demanding a chance to state his declaration of love to you, he might win your heart. He's probably been watching too much Lifetime again.

Having been here myself, as well as in the scenario I spelled out earlier, I would advise a watchful eye, a clear, but kind statement of how you feel, and letting those around you know that you've had a disagreeable break up.

I'm not trying to belittle your situation at all, and know it can be frightening to be grabbed like that...and feel like you're being followed, but to give it more consideration than what it's worth, so far, will only empower it and encourage further action if he feels it's getting your attention in any way.

Good luck with this, and don't let it sour your future dates...it's one guy. There are too many good guys to label them all. You seem like a sweet gal and I'm sure you'll be telling good dating stories before you know it.

happy chin up sweetie!

2 Next