That ol' cowboy used to give it to the wife standing up but the church said it was to much like dancing so he gave that up too.
Then he became a volunteer at the animal shelter, guess what?
No more doggie style for her either.
All that was left was Missionary, but he didn't want to be a Mormon.

Baptist Cowboy
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>
>
>
>
> A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into
a bar and orders three mugs of Coors. He sits in the back of the room,
drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes
back to the bar and orders three more.
>
> The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know,
a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought
one at a time."
>
> The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home
in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days
when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers
and one for myself."
>
> The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and
leaves it there.
>
> The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
>
> One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs All the
regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for
the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your
grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
>
> The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light
dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
>
> "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just
that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit
drinking."
>
> "Hasn't affected my brothers though."