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| Topic: **** from Above (May Offend) | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Wed 03/19/08 08:46 PM
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One night Jason got drunk and walked home from the bar and passed out in bed right next to his wife.
He had a dream that he went to heaven and he was at the gates into heaven where he saw a line of people with Saint Peter at the head. Jason walked up and asked, "Am I in heaven?" Saint Peter replied, "Yes. You're in heaven." Jason replied, "How did I die?" Saint Peter said, "Umm hold on. Wait a little while so I can pull up your records." With that the drunken Jason said, "Ok." Saint Peter pointed to a chair and told Jason to go sit down and wait. He went up to the chair and sat down. Not long afterwards, he saw a blonde angel pass and said to Saint Peter, "Can I go and f*ck her?" Saint Peter said "Yes. But do it behind the cloud over there." So he spent 30 minutes f*cking the blonde. When she left he went and sat back on the chair. A few minutes later a bruette walked past him and he once again asked Saint Peter "Can I go and f*ck her as well?" "Saint Peter said, "Yes." So he took the brunette behind the cloud and spent another 30 minutes screwing her. When she left, he went and sat back on the chair. Several more minutes passed and a redhead walked by. Once again, he asked Saint Peter the same thing. Can I go and f*ck HER and once again Saint Peter said "Yes." So he went back behind the cloud for a third time. When he had finished and she had left, he went back to sit on the chair, but after all that f*cking he had to take a sh!t. So he said, "Saint Peter, can I use the bathroom Saint Peter said, "Yes go over the edge of the cloud and wipe your ass with a piece of the cloud." So he went over to the edge of the cloud had his sh!t, and wiped with a piece of fluffy cloud. He heard his name being called many times and wondered if they pulled up why he died but actually his wife was screaming his name and he awoke with a jump he said to his wife what is it and she exclaimed "You can f*ck me three times you can sh!t the bed but there's no goddamn way your going to f*cking wipe your ass with my pillow!!!!! "   |
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