LOL while I am posting I guess I will weigh in the drinking alcohol thing.

Once in a blue moon I will take a drink and I could live with out it entirely. Most of the time my low tolerance means I won't get the benifits out of consumeing minimal amounts of alcohol that are stated to have; which I don't care Dr.'s orders (or not) I find dubious but I am not an alcoholic.

I will say it is a definite buzz kill to kiss anyone with alcohol on their breath because it defintely doesn't taste good or smell good second hand.

I also don't want anything to do with someone who is not fully in charge of their faculties. How are you going to know if they wanted to do "whatever" if they are buzzed? Many times they don't. Since I can't maintain a relationship with booze why bother to start n the first place?

I have been around a very large number of people drinking over the years and I have not ONE TIME found it improved their personality. Or any other ability. Not even falling down or sleeping.

Do I look for guys who don't drink? Yes is just one more thing not to have to stress over.

Do I refuse to date admitted alcoholics so called sober or not? No. Been there, done that, wore that t-shirt out. Is every alcoholic going to mean added drama in my life when a crisis comes along? Maybe not but the odds are just not somehing I am willing to bet on. Especially in my old age where I think love is definitely not for the unproven travelor. And where I see a lot of closet drinking that is passed of as anything but.

I get that limits my feild of potential dates but if I dump my standards at 50+ what good was having them at 30, 40, so on?

Since having them seems to kept my life out of the ditch so far what would my motivation be?

Moman - I did not say anything about committment. I have a committment to my child - do you not agree with that? Or should I toss her out of the house so I can find a boyfriend?

Just because my child has to come first in my life is no need for a man to feel "second best". How is it that married people manage to put their children first and still stay married?

I would not want to be with any guy who put his search for a girlfriend ahead of his children.

Good luck finding a woman who is willing to toss her kids away for a chance with a guy like you.

Wow. I hope some of the guys have more flexibility. I have been sober for over 20 years.


I agree though, when it comes to someone who has been sober less than say, 5 or 10 years.

I like your thoughts on dating drinkers though. I agree.

I like the way you think...it might be that I finally found someone that agrees with me.

I read your profile the long verison and was impressed. It was just alittle short of being a book but I have no doubt in my mind what your looking for. Now if everyone includeing me had your skill of writing then finding a match would be a lot easier. I especially like the part on what men need to know about most....sex....at least your honest

When does your committment to your daughter end? Im thinking never. She goes to college she get married or has a boyfriend she has kids. she gets divorce she needs you to watch those kids it just never ends for some mothers. I have seen it before.Till shes out of her 30s dont count on being free from her.Im not saying to turn you back on your daughter right now or ever. she is number one in your life and she should be. making her independant is the goal. Kids bounch back home at times mine sure did but now for me they have all their lifes in order and its my time to enjoy life not go throught another set of problems. we are close to the same age but I had my kids when I was young .I have grandkids almost the age of yor daughter. You started your career when I was ending mine so this may be were our views differ. I did my parenting and to take that on again when it isnt neccessary for me would be a bad choice.At some point you have to say its my time in life to enjoy it.

Married people do whats best for their kids but they are backing each other up everyday and those kids are their blood not kids by a second marriage. raiseing kids is no easy task . then if you have marriages with mixed childern from different marriages it even gets worst. Whos kids get that 1st treatment? Thats why I never divorced at a young age. I wanted my kids to have the best start they could and its paid off for me now i dont have to worry about them and any problems.

Committment to your daughter is one thing committment to the man in your life is another. Its just a matter of fact one does out weight the other. I love my kids but if I did find a woman to be in my life I sure wouldnt let them come between us.

Would you really want to be with a man who would put his dates before his kids? It doesn't seem fair to the kids.

But I am still raising my daughter. She is still in high school. And would you really give up your grown kids if some chick you were dating decided she didn't like them? Maybe she wants to be first in your life,your will...etc.

And just for the record, I NEVER expected, nor did I want, anyone to come in and try to parent my daughter. I am doing just fine by myself, thanks. If I date someone, it is for me, not because I am trying to find a new daddy for my child. I would never expect someone to "take on parenting". Just let me do it and be a grown up about it.

I think you are right when you say our views differ because we are at different stages of life. I am not ready for the rocking chair; I have stuff to do. I don't want to spend all day gazing into someone's eyes. I have work to get done.

There may be men who can understand that; but if not, I am better off without.

Automobile repair classes. Cooking classes. Self help section in a bookstore, look at books like how to become a better lover. That always draws attention!

whos put words in whos mouth now? all i said i wouldnt let my kids come between me and the woman of my life.if she didnt like my kids she doesnt have to have contact with them. her relationship is between her and me not them. we could still put each other 1st without my kids input. I did put my last G/F on my will with my daughters . She got a larger portion because she comes 1st now if she complained about not getting it all then shes the wrong woman. That reminds me i need to get her off my will I hope I dont die soon what a mess that will be.

is that rocking chair comment a insult or what? do you think all retired peope do is sit around rocking in chairs.I dont even own a rocking rock. somehow in your mind you must think once you retire you must be dieing. Im active just like alot of older people. I go places do things and have fun. I have many different hobbies.Just becasue I would like to do them with someone else doesnt mean were going to be here in the house stareing in each other eyes all day long. We all have work to get done I just dont get paid for my work. Retirement isnt for everyone some are self starts some cant seem to get out of the chair. those are the ones that wont last long.

You may be right; I know nothing about retirement, and I will probably work until the day I die anyway, unless I win the lottery or something.

I think we have different ideas about what putting someone first means. I do know that I would not be with someone who tried to come between me and my daughter. I need a man who can amuse himself once in a while, and not get miffed because I have someone else I care about. I would not be with someone who tried to get me to spend less time with her. My first loyalty is to her. If he was rude to her, he would be kicked to the curb. You said something about if the woman did not like your kids she wouldn't have to have contact with them. I would be so uncomfortable if the two most important people in my life didnt' get along. I would hate that, being in the middle. I wouldn't do it. How can you love someone and not like the most important person in their life?

Most people that are paying into SS should be worried about retirement its not going to be there for them when they need it. My kids are already planning n working till dead.I tried to get them to invest in their futures but who listens to their parents.I went shopping today I got my lottery ticket...without hope you have nothing



It happens in real life not everyone in family is going to talk and get along. since you only have one daughter this may not be something you may see but in my family which isnt different that most everyone isnt so friendly. Thought my divorce I have been able to keep on good talking terms with my 3 daughters but two of my daughters dont talk. one of my daughters doesnt talk to her mother. I the father have no control over who likes each other and who talks. all I have control over is my own actions. when I first got a g/f 2 of my daughters took a dislike for her for no other reason than she replace their mother. This really wasnt a big problem becasue I dont have alot of contact with my kids they dont need to talk to me daily or weekly or monthly. We do love each other and talk its just they have their life ,work kids and their own problems. I dont feel a need to define myself through my kids. Im my own person living my own life . I dont need then to watch and care for me.

to answer your question my daughters and I can have a loving family realationship thats just between us and not with the women whos most important in my life and not their mother. One thing I have learned in life is you cant make everyone happy.The mistake i think your making is thinking everyone has to get along ........its just not so in real life.Prefect families are hard to find.

It is true that perfect families are hard to find, but my daughter and I are very close. Logistically speaking, it would be difficult at this point to interject someone with whom she doesn't get along. She lives in my house. It would cause friction and I just don't need that in my life. What is the point of getting into a relationship if it is just going to bring misery to my life? If I didn't speak to my daughter "even every month" I might feel differently; but I can't imagine that at this point. Even when one of us travels we talk to each other every day. We are close, and I don't see the need to put a time limit on that. No, if the person cannot get along with both of us, then he is not the person for me. I am not that anxious to find someone; if the right person popped into my life, he would have my undying devotion for the rest of my life; but until he does, I am not going to settle for the wrong guy. It just isn't that important to me.

You may change your mind once your start living alone after your daughter goes to college. once she gets a boyfriend Im sure her Priorities will change and her calls will be less.

I have a dog you have goats we both know thats not real human contact. I have neighbors but hardly ever see them. at best I might talk to someone from my family once a week. Now you know why its important for me to find someone.Im sure you will see it the same way once you start living alone. having your daughter living with you is important and letting her go wont be easy.

I agree it's all a matter of perspective. I am around people all day at work; I have many friends that I go to dinner, movies, etc. with; I have my daughter here with me; and I have neighbors that are like family to me. So I am never lonely; my problem is finding enough time for everyone. And for myself. Add the two jobs, the grad school - I would really need to be with someone who is busy too; or someone who doesn't need a lot of attention. At least at this point in my life; I can't imagine life without my daughter. She is going to live at home for college, and I really doubt that she will ever marry. But she may want her own place someday. And if she stays on the career path she has chosen, she will have to do her postgraduate school someplace else. It won't be possible for her to live here.

I think for me, the idea of finding someone is more of a pleasant, maybe someday, kind of thing; where for you it is more urgent, more of a priority. I would probably feel the same way if I lived alone; especially if I were retired.

your right is more important for me not working but I could get a job just to fill the time.I have been thinking about taking a job at the gym. they need a opener from 530 to 800am .I might be a good way to meet someone thats concerned about getting exerise.

In your case since your so busy I dont see where you have the time for someone else in your life.

You are right about that. I wondered as well. But I guess I am romantic enough to think that if I did find the right person, it would all somehow fit together. And then when my life changed and I had more time we could rock each other's worlds.

you are looking at the queen of missed opportunities here.I seem to get tongue tied when it comes to men.I can't tell you how many times a guy has spoken to me and I freeze up.But recently I made a innocent comment to a out of town bus driver about how heavy my bag was because of my math text book inside ,well the conversation progressed to him helping me with my homework.Go figure.Now my problem is taking beyond.
I like to meet dates for a game of pool it takes the pressure off sitting there trying to think of something to say.

I'm just the opposite - I can talk all night.

I got my lottery ticket just wanting for my numbers to come up.

while your waiting for that right person and the right time you can rock my world just for practice j/k

fine, buy a damn plane ticket.