Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they
will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike,
Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each
throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will
have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change
back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to
the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in
his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He
buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout
counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly
Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the
10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit,
then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a
plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her
dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet
are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man
will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every
article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip
about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally
out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a
U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always
expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth
perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best
friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man
is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dude you made me laugh, -------Kicking cats------

I relate to to mountain of laundry!

Hey I just wanted to let all the ladys out there to know, that I do not
kick cats when their backs are turned, I might have stepped on a few
tails, but thats it,-------I swear!

I don't dare kick my cat... she strikes back....