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| Topic: Ok...Here's something to think about.. | |
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Edited by
LadyOfMagic
on
Wed 03/12/08 11:25 AM
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I've seen SEVERAL people meet on here and end up engaged/ married..my question is..how long should a person be in a relationship before they decide it's not headed to the point they want it to go and they're ready to move on to someone that they know WILL take that next step.
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how ever long it takes for u to fall in love with that person
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I think it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship... my grandparents met and got married two months later and have been married for 50+ years now. Honesty and open communication are the cornerstone of a good relationship. Also keep in mind the number one reason for divorce is finanical and the second leading cause is division of labor (housework etc) b/c it wasn't discussed before marriage.
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I always know within 3-4 months. I'm always bored to tears by then, and it's time to move on.
Well, there have been a few exceptions.... |
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I think it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship... my grandparents met and got married two months later and have been married for 50+ years now. Honesty and open communication are the cornerstone of a good relationship. Also keep in mind the number one reason for divorce is finanical and the second leading cause is division of labor (housework etc) b/c it wasn't discussed before marriage. Well...those 2 reasons are easy with me..lol..he will work outside the house while I work inside the house..thats what I want..the 50yr marriage thing..my grandparents had that..they did exactly as the wedding vows say "Til death do you part"..my grand daddy died 2weeks after my grandma did. |
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I think I'd know within six months if I could marry a person or not.
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I think I'd know within six months if I could marry a person or not. I think I'd know somewhere around 6months as well..I've already got a time table set for my "He better marry me in this amount of time or he's out the door"..pretty sad since I don't even have a guy but I set it when I was younger and could actually get a guy. 
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ONLY my humble opinion ??... I would have to say ... depends on the individuals as we are all different ... for me personally, I would like to experience ALL the emotions of my partner before that discussion ever happened ...sorry bestI can do
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I think some relationships take longer than others. If you are having fun and getting alone and have good communications,continue but if you are bored, run...I would think 4-6 mo would be a good guidline. Me, I believe in love at first site, if theres a good chemistry, go for it....I dated my first husband 6 mo and it lasted 17 yrs. With the second marriage, I knew him for 25 yrs before we married and it lasted 26 yrs. Boy, I miss him....will be a yr in 10 days...
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I think I'd know within six months if I could marry a person or not. I think I'd know somewhere around 6months as well..I've already got a time table set for my "He better marry me in this amount of time or he's out the door"..pretty sad since I don't even have a guy but I set it when I was younger and could actually get a guy. Oh, I don't really have a time table. But I'd know either way. In the past, this was not true... but know I think I know better what to look for. I'd also never marry a man that had not met my family (they live out of state). He can marry me whenever or never. I'd stay just knowing I would marry him without reservation. |
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I think some relationships take longer than others. If you are having fun and getting alone and have good communications,continue but if you are bored, run...I would think 4-6 mo would be a good guidline. Me, I believe in love at first site, if theres a good chemistry, go for it....I dated my first husband 6 mo and it lasted 17 yrs. With the second marriage, I knew him for 25 yrs before we married and it lasted 26 yrs. Boy, I miss him....will be a yr in 10 days... I used to believe in love at first sight..but I gotta tell you..I think I must've been blind..lol |
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I think you just "know" when its the right time!!!
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The basic dynamics of a relationship are always individual to every pair of lovers. Knowing anything about the longevity of any relationship depends on your own perspective on commitment. If you're determined, understanding, forgiving and tolerant, also able to effectively communicate your ideas, hopes, dreams, wants, dislikes, etc, there shouldnt be a question - assuming the other person is able to do the same, of course. I'd say, dont date anyone who doesnt share your core values. Be mindful of the 80% rule (if you're 80% satisfied - you're doing good!), and concentrate on being the partner your significant other wants. Remember the Golden Rule? It works. 
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The basic dynamics of a relationship are always individual to every pair of lovers. Knowing anything about the longevity of any relationship depends on your own perspective on commitment. If you're determined, understanding, forgiving and tolerant, also able to effectively communicate your ideas, hopes, dreams, wants, dislikes, etc, there shouldnt be a question - assuming the other person is able to do the same, of course. I'd say, dont date anyone who doesnt share your core values. Be mindful of the 80% rule (if you're 80% satisfied - you're doing good!), and concentrate on being the partner your significant other wants. Remember the Golden Rule? It works. LOL..I've never heard of the 80% rule..thats kinda interesting..lol..I've actually been with guys that made me 80% happy..the only thing they were missing is the marriage thing..They thought it was perfectly fine to just be "Internet Boyfriend/Girlfriend" for forever..I want something REAL so I had to let them go..Internet relationships can only go so far you know? 
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{{{Lady}}}
My general rule (if I make it that far)... At 3 months, am I still enjoying getting to know the person and having fun with them? If yes to both, keep on going. At 6 month, can I see myself with this person in the long run? Then think and talk about it. Not rush into anything (like I did with my ex-husband) and go from there. I like the 80% rule, Bexter. Going to ponder it. M |
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