~ You were meant for me... perhaps as a punishment.

~ I know how to push all my wife's buttons... now if I could only find the one marked 'OFF'!

~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking?

~ As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me.

~ I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in hell until I met you!

~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!

~ I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys!

~ I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here!

Very cute! I'm sharing those with my friends so we can all have a good laugh!