The PERFACT Fruit Cake -

Ingredients:
1 cup water
2 cups dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
8 oz nuts
4 large eggs
1 tsp baking soda
juice of 1 lemon
1 bottle of whiskey

Method:

Sample whiskey to check its quality.
Take a large bowl.
Re-check the whiskey to ensure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay and cry another tup.
Turn off the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.
Mix on the turner, and if the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonisisticity.
Next sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Then grease the oven and turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.

Thats my kind of fruit cake!!

i love fruit cake!!!

lol, let me know when your having a dinner party.

Now that is a fruit cake

he he he, bring that fruit cake to my next party!

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I DOT GRUNK AFTER THE BTTUER

And what'd you say you do with the microwave?

the perfect fruit cake?
1 redneck
1-10 shots
18 pack of bud
dash of bar

ROFL! The fact this was moved to Recipes and not to the Jokes page is almost as funny as the recipe itself.

yum

that is perfect fruit cake!

What a wonderful recipe! I will pass that on to a few of my friends!