Nope.. I have not had that problem.

I guess I am just looking for a relationship that has a chance to get serious, not to rush in, but an open door for that, and I am having a hard time finding that.

Nope.... I haven't experienced that...


I wonder....could it be in the initial lines of communication?

I don't know ... for me... I am exactly who I am, and lay it on the line straight up....not looking for a fling... not interested in a casual thing...

Take it or leave it... a no bullsh*t attitude seems to work for me..

Join the club babes join the club...

I never look... I'm plenty content with life ~ single or with a significant other.

Maybe there is where you are going wrong?

Alot of us want that too.

I do agree with what JistMe said.

Yes!!!! Thankyou Jistme... you took the words right out of my fingers...

If you are already content with who you are, and how you are travelling in your life, there is a lesser air of neediness, that can be experienced, or appear to be..

Perhaps just let it go, enjoy your single time, and she , whoever she is, will appear?

I think it will find you when you
least expect it. Your looking to
hard, relax and let it happen.

It depends on your approach..I am open minded but I think timing is important. I was talking to a guy on e-mail for a couple of weeks and he started asking me if I thought he was "the one". We hadn't even talked on the phone yet! I cut off all communication instantly. That was too weak and needy for me.

Sorry.. didn't mean to steal your thunder!

Should I completely screw up the relationship I have now.. and end up on this or another site, making threads soliciting companionship from nobody in particular. Complaining about my prior, present or future encounters... Saying I am bored, please come and entertain me..Anybody?

Assume I have had either a major head trauma or suffered a psychological break of some sort.

Then one of you who carries a gun? Come to my house and put one behind my ear while I am opening another pitiful thread.

One bullet, two outcomes.
Puts me out of my misery.
Puts me out of your misery

I did being widowed at 38 seemed like people were just frozen in the idea once burned twice shy. I kind of thought it was a man thing but have seen a lot of people who just want to keep one foot half way out the door at that age frame. Maybe it is the whole thing of most being a "package deal" at that stage. And maybe a little extra job stress. Job advancement tends to slow while responsibilities tend to get bigger around the big 4-0. I ran into a lot of guys who were worried about being middle age dumped on the job as much as in their personal lives. They were feeling the crunch of ageing cars, and impending college expenses, and a few becoming first time Grandparents. You can spread the energy only so thin.

Not with you though.

Thank you, .

Thank you to everyone who responded, and sharing.

That's what I felt when they got too serious freaky fast. I felt that they were needy. I also felt that they were too lonely and had zero things to do and depended on me to cure that. A person needs to happy with oneself first.

Good luck with your quest.