your partners parents, would you tell your partner or suck it up and play nice?

I don't know about playing nice-but you deal with it if you love the person you are with.

ive been in this situation and ive told him.

I'm sure I wouldn't have to tell my partner

depends on what they thought of my family

I do not have a problem telling them!! I couldn't stand my mother in law!! & she knew it..................

my whole family suggested (very strongly) that i should not marry my late wife.i have not talked to any of them in over 6 years and dont plan on it

I always played nice.

I wouldn't say I dispised his parents. I would let him know that I don't agree or understand his parents ways. Then maybe he can understand that is why I don't want to spend time hanging around them and then maybe he won't try and make me hang around them. If you tell your partner flat out, "I hate your parents." I don't think he'll take it kindly.

Oh well let me address this one...

I was married for almost 10 years to a man whom I still call friend.... his mother was like a mother to me...love her to this day with all of my heart...

My father in law was a different story.... He was rude and nasty to me constantly, I did everything in my power to make him like me, and to no avail...

Once my husband and I seperated, my daughter was at their house because both my ex and I were at work on a weekend, and when I went to pick her up only my father in law was there, my mother in law had bought my daughter some clothes, and my father in law repeatedly told me to make SURE that they went to my ex's house....

Here is what I finally said to him while my daughter was in another room... "Dad I spent all of my adult life trying to make you like me, begging for your acceptance, and now, I don't give a rat's azz anymore...and look I am in your house and make you feel uncomfortable... look at the power you give to me, I love your wife and I still in a way love your son, and my brother in laws, but you are the worst excuse for a 'christian man' I've ever experienced, I don't f'ing like you, and I don't have to pretend that i do anymore, you treat my daughter right and we won't have an issue, but know this, you are an azzhole"

It was the most freeing day of my entire life... and mostly why I am how I am today, I don't care much if people don't like me, I'm a great person, but if you don't see it... well that's your loss.

I always played nice to the in-laws, but hubby knew the truth too. Glad I don't have to do that anymore. I did it, but I never said it was always easy.

The first set of in-laws I got along great with..the second set...I got along great with my Father-in-law from day one, but the Mother-in-law- the first 20 yrs were a nightmare. My husband knew how I felt but for his benefit I kept quiet and tolerated her. After he passed away..guess who has to care for her...yep...me, my husband was the only child she had. So now I feel kind of obligated, but she has mellowed out alot the past 5 yrs. (thank goodness)...but I sure have the gray hairs from all the stress..I blame over half on her..(teasing).

you tolerate after all it could be the other way round too

but isn't it better to get things out in the open, then to suffer for years and years? Wouldn't it be better to agree to disagree, then to carry all of that angst and anger?

I turned a corner in my life after my outburst, if someone doesn't like me, and won't meet me head on about it, it is then their issue, if they talk to me about it, it can then be resolved.... If they keep it bottled, they are the ones that suffer, not me...I'm not losing sleep about it.

i know where your coming from and agree im one for been out in the open, but older generation over in this country are very reserved so getting them to open up is hard, i would try...but i would also tolerate if it meant peace for my partner

Despised is a very strong word..

I find, if my partner is an amazing person, he had to have the foundations of it somewhere, and usually it's his parents that initiated the great qualities in him.

They get to be them, as polar opposite to me, as they choose....EVERY person has something for us in life, whether a positive lesson, or not...

Most times if I find I react to something negative in another, it's a mirror, is all... and I need to reflect on myself a little and my behaviours.