are they looking for more friends?

FWB, it works well for those who are not willing to commit or have another reason for not wanting to be in a relationship.

I have done FWBs for the last four years. I did not want to make a commitment to anyone but wanted to date still. It works well as long as both parties are on the same page. I am still friends with the guys, although the benefits part has fizzled with all of them by my choice. I am bored with it now so I am not doing the FWB anymore.

Like I said the secret is that both parties have to be on the same page for it to work. Once you go into a fwb situation you cannot switch up and decide you want a relationship with the person unless it is fully mutual that both are feeling the same way. If feelings get involved it is best to leave the whole thing alone cause someone is going to get hurt if not.

I am glad I did it though, it gave me lots of time to invest in myself and my life. I would see the FWB on a friday night or something and my time after that was mine. If I wanted to see them another night in the week I would if they were available. We would go out and have fun and sex was mutual if we wanted to and then we would have the rest of the week for ourselves. Condoms are a must with all sexual activity these days so that was a given.

I would have to say it is not for everyone, especially if a person has a guilty consciense about sex outside of marriage and stuff like that. It would be too difficult for that person to get over the freedom of the whole situation.

It can if both parties are mature about it....

Mine lasted for almost a year and a half, I dated someone for 5 months and didn't see him during that time.... and he didn't date anyone in that time, he understood that I wanted to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, and never wanted to stand in the way of that... as I would never stand in the way of his happiness...

I love them, never have a problem keeping love out of the equation. If one starts to get "goo goo eyes" I stop doing things with her and I expect the same.

I had a special friend that came with benefits. For seven years, we talked with each other almost daily about anything and everything. About 2 years into the friendship, we became intimate. For the next five years, we would get together to hang out and "service" our needs about 2-3 times/year. In those seven years, we both had other short lived relationships in which the benefits were put on hold yet, we still communicated daily. Always, we ended up back together. After seven years, I realized that I had deep feelings for this person. After letting him know, I was in for disappointment because he didn't feel the same. It became apparent that I was merely a warm & willing body for him to satisfy his needs. I let him go. It's been 4 months and we've not spoken at all. I never want to have a friend with benefits again. The next relationship I have will be all or nothing.

with bene"fits"?---------------ME_ME_ME!!!!!!

Nope it does not work

feelings get involved

friends w/bennies can be hard..feelings do occur. at least one of the two will get feelings and it sucks when the other doesnt feel the same i'mm to the point where i dont beleive in it anymore..sex really should be between 2 people that really love and care for eachother

although they NEVER seem to work for most people in the long run... I am completely down with having intimate moments with my friends... I just make sure it doesnt become a super regular thing (like every weekend or every time either of us goes out drinking). If it happens too regularly attachment by one or the other is bound to happen... and not having the attachment is the whole reason to have a friend with added benefits... right???

My outlook, like it matters.... but your gonna hear it anyways...

If there isn't going to be any emotion or attachment after sex, is there going to any emotion DURING sex? And if the other person has sex with you in that manner, what is going to prevent them from doing that with somebody else? That situation just screams "dirty" to me. I would prefer masturbation over having sex with somebody that is having sex with multiple people at the same time. I could get a free ticket to Jerry Springer though I guess???

Never been in one. I suppose it COULD work, but only if both parties understand that they aren't there because of a perceived 'relationship'- unfortunately, what inevitably happens is that one person will read a little too into what the parameters of the arrangement (which would be 'nookie') are, and will expect more out of it. If that happens, problems will result.

Wow...so happy people are playing along.

(((Shutter))) Miss you, Girl. Email soon? Lots to catch up on.

With my actual FWB thing with my ex, it was discussed and we made the rules as we went along.

Tameka-I agree with the thought of intimate moments with friends. Especially if there is affection there, but maybe the knowledge that a relationship would not work. Have you discussed it with those involved?

Those of you who know me, know I want to talk everything to death. And my big mouth has been known to get me in trouble.

I have never personally been in a FWB but I have several friends that have made it work. Some of them long term. It tends to work when neither person involved is seeing anyone, and there is a connection... but not enough for an actual relationship.

What it really comes down to is personal preference. Would you rather have no sex and wait for the right sex with all the emotion and love it entails, or would you rather have some sex with someone you care about, just not willing to commit to (for whatever reasons) until the right person comes along.

Also as it was mentioned earlier. Both parties need to be on the same page. If both people involved know its not going to work long term but care about each other enough to give it a shot there is no reason two mature people can't have some fun on the side while looking for Mr./Mrs Right

Talk about the power of suggestion... mine just emailed me to tell me that he is ok... Thanks Michelle for bringing this subject up.....

He is in Iraq for his third tour of duty.... He's a great person.

Wow, Lily, 3rd tour? What happened to one and done? Thank him for me and tell him to be safe.

Now let's start talking about Powerball since I did not win last night!

Oh I'll thank him personally if I'm not in a relationship when he gets home....March/April of 09....

Me! Me! *raising hand*

your right,some people are able to handle it others arn't

I think it works just great! I have a FWB in the Tampa area and it's nice to go see him then come home with no DRAMA. I just love being free to date other people but still have someone around if my dating scene ever tires It does definitly need to be a mutual thing with both the players involved though. He and I know we will never date, so it's chill.

Are you talking about sick time and paid vacations??Because I don't have any friends like that.