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| Topic: Deadbeat dads vs. single mothers | |
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hi all, i understand what you are saying lily, but i will tell you my
suppport, do you think you could do on 336 a week? how is the man going to survive.it's hard for me to ask a lady to mcdonalds for a date...lol |
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Funny thing.....our system........Where else could a mother tell the
child that the father is dead for almost 9 years and then one day contact the father and tell him.....oh yeah...you have a 9 year old son. But wait.....it gets better. Within 2 weeks of that notification I got subpeona'd for court and nailed with 9 years ($17000) in back child support and had the kid living in my house within 2 weeks of that. SHE should have faced....in my opinion......fraud and child abuse charges but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She doesn't have a penis so she skates. I disagree with deadbeat parents but the system needs to serve justice BOTH directions. This is one part of our system that is PARTIAL to women. That is not right and should be changed. |
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Lily, no offense, I get your point but if we are going to tighten up the
laws in that regard then they need to be tightened without regard to gender. There are ALOT of deadbeat women out there and they were laying there naked getting it on as well so they need to stop playing "victim" and "poor me". What part of sex without protection did THEY not understand? Make the culpability fall equally on both parents!! |
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hi pool,
i agree, my ex is living her b/f{funny thing about 2 months after she left me} and getting state assistance also. where do i have a chance? |
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The worst yet is my ex is still living with a man she had been with from
the day I left her. Since they have never gotten married they don't count his income and it is mid six figures. Who is getting the raw end of the deal here? I am just glad it is now paid off and she can fall to the wayside and I NEVER have to deal with her again. Our son paid the price for her ignorant behavior and is now facing 5 years in prison with mental disorders SHE caused. |
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sorry to here that pool, it is a system that creates hate rather than
harmony between the parents. and the children always end up suffering for it. |
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Please go back to my initial post here and see where I stated that not
JUST men are deadbeats, and that some fathers are the ones who get the short end of the stick. The reason I originaly posted this is because of the gender issues raised in two other posts on the "religion & politics" issues relating to abortion. However, fellas, MAJORALLY speaking the woman most often ends up with the majority responsibility. A lot of my remarks in these posts have been hypothetical. I get $158/month for one child, (same amount for the last 12 years), and $100 for the second. He has money for meth, is on his third marriage and has a number of biological children who barely know him. The money I get doesn't even cover all the necessities, let alone the "extras" I have mentioned previously. $300 a week would be a Godsend to me! Unfortunately, that is not even close in most single parent circumstances. You have the right to present your case in court and ask for a reduction. Mine did, and got it. Originally it was $219/month, but had it dropped to $100. I didn't oppose it, because I was glad to be getting anything from an addict. One point I wanted to make was, how many of the men speaking out against pro-choice and the women who exercise that right is that perhaps they aren't able to visualize the full picture. Also, how many of them pay child support now, are current and what amount? Do they provide health and dental? Help with extras, like haircuts and b-days? |
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Let me also say this....I would not trade my two daughters for anything,
ever. |
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The child support system will never work. It is a political short fall trying to adjust a spiritual problem. It takes more than money to raise a child. It takes pratically both parents. Unfortunately, as express in the opening comment, it lacks a whole lot of love and commitment. It is my observation, that the ones who control the child support enforcement agency really don't care, as long as they are getting a pay check. Those people get paid big bucks too. If someone could possibly tally up the cost for going after one dead beat parent, they might have just gave that money to the custodial parent.
I am not sure who thought of that division, but it is a joke. It feeds on the controling issues of the custodial parent. "I got the child living with me and you are gonna do what I say. If you don't, I am gonna turn you in for child support". Have you looked at the news lately? Parents who are threaten like this are not just running away no more. They are actually taking the lives of their own entire immediate family and anyone who may be connected. My solution? I take responsibility for my actions and because of females not taking responsibility for their actions? They are considered to be immature and irresponsible. I don't want to have anything to do with them. That's right, castration would be a good solution. Especially to those weak men that falls trapped to the female race. |
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Man, there goes the hating again. What went on between my mother and father? I wouldn't want to be around neither. Mothers are getting upset with their children's father but they are not taking responsibility for treating their children's father the way they do. Look at the news. Do you think that the men who killed their family and themselves were dead beat fathers? No, the mothers feels like they can get away with anything. Not anymore. If mothers don't tighten up their attitudes towards the men they lay down with, there are going to be a whole lot more lonely women. Especially, when they start castrating the men.
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Hey Lily! (zapchaser) To add to the question I would ask the same of deadbeat moms? I raised all three of my children since my youngest was 18 months old.He is 22 now. Their mom offered NO financial support and worked under the table to avoid the court ordered support.
 The kids were lucky if she remembered their birthdays and more often than not I had to call and remind her to at least tell them that she wished them a happy birthday.  I think sterilization would be a bit harsh. I was thinking more along the lines of crash test dummy for the railroad industry.
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Let me also say this....I would not trade my two daughters for anything, ever.  |
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how about raising 4 ofthem alone with NO support from the dad...
and every time that i get all the hoops jumped through to finaly get support.. then he quits his job and disapears so they close my case.. so when i do find him again then i have to fill out all the paprwork all over again!!! and every bill that we had in OUR names when we were together is coming to me.. as i am the only one working.. so his truck that he got repoed.. because my name was on the checking account that signed the check.. they are garnishing my wages for it!! i wish i was getting $150.. atleast it would be SOME help!! any help at this point would be help. |
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I know not all dad's are deadbeats; (in fact, I personally know some who definitely go the extra mile, while the mother becomes the deadbeat). However, what do we do to strengthen laws and punishment against men who duck out after they find out they have impregnated someone? What do we do to those who quit job after job and move from town to town, leaving more fatherless children in their wake? What do we do to prevent them from "diddling and ditching"? A scarlet letter, perhaps? So we can identify those who tell the same lies to women over and over again? Maybe a big "C" in the middle of their foreheads for "Chicken****"? What should they be responsible for BEYOND childsupport in the financial sense? Health and dental? Transportation to and from appointments, extracurricular activities, etc.? Clothing for those constant and quick growth spurts? Invitations, treats, cake , decorations, presents for their birthday parties? Presents for friends who have invited them to their birthday parties? Gift exchanges at school? Club and sport uniform and supplies? Bicycle tires? Valentine cards for the class? Dye for Easter eggs? Compensation for the days a mother takes off from work to nurture a sick child? What about morally, spiritually, ethically? How should those responsiblities be defined? When jail, suspension of drivers license and garnishment don't do it, what next? Should these guys be "fixed"? If they don't want the responsibility of being a father, yet they don't want to be "sterilized," should they be made to never have sex again? I think that there are canidates for forced vascetomies and tublaligations. |
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Funny thing.....our system........Where else could a mother tell the child that the father is dead for almost 9 years and then one day contact the father and tell him.....oh yeah...you have a 9 year old son. But wait.....it gets better. Within 2 weeks of that notification I got subpeona'd for court and nailed with 9 years ($17000) in back child support and had the kid living in my house within 2 weeks of that. SHE should have faced....in my opinion......fraud and child abuse charges but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She doesn't have a penis so she skates. I disagree with deadbeat parents but the system needs to serve justice BOTH directions. This is one part of our system that is PARTIAL to women. That is not right and should be changed. In iowa it is changing, now it is not a quarantee that the mother will get the children. |
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Okay I am going to say it. My mother and father were/are both worthless. They truly are. Neither have provided emotional support and by the time I was 14 I was paying rent, my medical bills, my food, and any activity I wanted to be in. I really think that parents should worry about the children, and should have to sign a binding legal contract before being able to reproduce. I think birth control should be in all of the food, and only if you are allowed to reproduce should you be able to forgo the birth control. I think that we should neglect the neglectful parents and let them starve like I had to, beat the abusive parents, and let them know the terror of wondering where the next meal is going to come from or whether or not they will be beaten for spilling the milk. As far as paying for it, lock them up and send them to a work camp and watch them twenty-four/seven, making sure they don't have a dime for any of the luxuries they deny their offspring.
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maybe i should have said something nicer
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