- The milkman is wearing your bathrobe.

- You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.

- She starts every sentence with the words ... "To whom it may concern."

- Your mail comes addressed to "Current Resident."

- The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit.

- Her mother looks at you and starts laughing.

- You are urged to stir your coffee "very well," before drinking it.

- Your favourite easy chair is plugged into the wall outlet. - People are already referring to her as the "widow."

- Your name is Fred but the new tattoo just below her navel reads ... "Joe's Place."