I get no respect, no respect I tell ya!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins, then he went out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
My father carried around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could always tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

You got it.....And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!